ASYLUM: Chapter 33

 

Chapter 33

   Late in the afternoon, I returned to the Adobe to find Debra and Danni were gone. I never heard their truck start, or the sound as they drove away. I locked up and drove my truck to Juan Morales’ place and told him I needed to go to Asylum for a short while and could he have someone go by and check my place for me while I was gone. He said he would and suggested having someone stay there until I returned. I thanked him and returned to prepare for the trip.

   Terry and I drove our own vehicles in case one of us decided to leave and the other decided to stay. My return to Asylum wasn’t full of pomp and circumstance and it seemed no one even recognized me, then I realized, my hair had grown out and I sport a beard now. When Danni threw out my belongings, she hadn’t thrown out Dan’s uniforms she gave me. no wonder no one knew me. I was back to wearing my civilian clothes, though I was wearing the bulletproof vest Packer had given me under a zip up sweatshirt. I was still a little suspicious about what kind of welcome I might receive. After we arrived, I went to the Ready Room first, but there appeared to be some sort of class underway for some of the Cadets. So, I took Terry to the Intelligence Office in order to touch bases with Julia.

   Pix wasn’t there and Julia seemed really excited to see Terry and I. She hooted and hollered and took us to her office where we sat and talked. She tried to offer me the chair behind the desk, but I sat at the conference table instead. I explained why Terry and I were there and they started talking shop, which means I had no idea what they were talking about. Eventually, I excused myself and walked to the apartment that Debra, Danni, and I had shared with the kids. I was hoping to visit the children.

   They don’t live there anymore and the new residents had no idea where they were staying now. I wandered farther into the complex and ended up at Dak’s office. When I walked into the receptionist area, the young man behind the desk asked me what I needed and I told him I was there to see Dak Sorenson. He informed me Mister Sorenson was a busy man and did not accept unscheduled visitors. I could see Dak in his office, but he was involved in a phone call, so I left and walked back outside and to Facilities. Morgan was in his office and when his receptionist told him I was there; he practically ran outside to greet me.

   “Dan! Holy shit am I glad to see you!”

   I smiled and said, “Why do I have the feeling it’s not my sparkling personality you’ve missed?”

   “Well, that too, but the pre-action system in Lab Three, Phase Six, keeps tripping and causing mayhem when the alarms go off. Can I get you to take a look at it?”

   “Sure,” I said. “It might be nice to find something I can fix for a change.” Unfortunately, it was a simple adjustment of the air pressure and all was well again.

   “Damn it, Dan, when are you coming back? I get so tired of putting people off and saying, yeah, we could fix that if, Daniel Monroe was here!”

   “Menendez,” I said.

   “What?”

   “My last name is Menendez now.”

   “Oh, I heard a little bit about that, I really liked Stacey, you know?”

   “She was easy to like.” I said.

   “Yeah, so are you going to come back, now that everyone knows you didn’t sell Asylum out?”

   “I doubt it, Morgan, there’s not much here for me anymore.”

   “Come on, man, there is nowhere else you belong! Shit, I miss your calm, unassuming confidence. You walk into a room and everybody automatically figures everything is going to be copasetic.”

   “That’s nice of you to say, Morgan, but, no, I have a place of my own now.” I glanced around and then asked, “You wouldn’t happen to know where Danni and Debra relocated to, do you?”

   “Yeah, Ortiz had some modular homes put out where we’re building the kind of homes you suggested. The population has been really expanding and the new homes being built were taking too long.”

   “Do you know which one they are in?”

   “No, I don’t, sorry.” We exchanged some small talk and then I lied by telling him I had another appointment to keep and took off. I headed down to the Child Care Center and when I arrived, I discovered it was no longer a child center, it had been changed to a small apartment. The woman who answered the door told me the Child Care Center had been moved to the rooms next to the Medical Clinic in Phase Three.

   When I arrived there, I was informed that there was another child center Topside and the children were probably there since they lived closer to that one. I walked back to the loading dock area and as I passed the Ready Room, I saw Packer and Gilly talking to a couple in their office; I just kept walking until I heard Gilly’s voice.

   “Daniel!” I slowed to a stop and turned around. “I thought that was you! Wait right there!” She went back inside and moments later, she and Packer came quickly walking out.

   Packer said, “Dan! When did you get back? Damn, Kid, it’s good to see you!” He held out his hand to shake mine, I looked at it for a moment, and then finally shook it. “Danni came by and told me she and Debra had been to see you; she told me about Stacey,” his demeanor changed and his smile disappeared. “Is there anything we can do?”

   I shook my head, no. The three of us stood there awkwardly for a moment and then I said, “There is something that might be beneficial.”

   “Anything,” Packer said.

   “There’s a couple of communities out Highway 180, west of Silver City. They’re trying to organize an area militia and though they have some ex-military, they seriously need training. Is there any chance Asylum could help with that? Maybe send a couple of advisors?”

   He waved towards the Bunker and said, “I don’t see why not, let’s go to the office and have a sit-down; we can discuss it.”

   “I can throw together a meal; have you eaten today, Daniel?” Gilly was her normal friendly self.

   “I was on my way to find the Child Care Center Topside. I haven’t seen my children yet, and I’m getting a little antsy.” I took a step back and asked, “Can you tell me where it’s located?”

   “I’m surprised Danni or Debra aren’t here to take you,” Packer said as he frowned. “Either one of them could take the time off to…”

   “The last time we talked,” I said. “We didn’t part on good terms. I imagine they have better things to do with their time.”

   “Nonsense,” Packer said. “I’ll send my Cadet runner to track them down and…”

   “No, thanks, I can find it myself.” I turned and started walking away as they stood there. Did they really think I was going to sit down and have a meal with the guy that gave me to the Feds?

   Topside, is a term used for anywhere above ground at Asylum and it can be rather large area to travel when you’re on foot. Add in the fact the elevation changes radically and you can start seeing a walk being an exercise event. I used to hate it during militia training when we were sent to take a ‘jog’ around the airstrip. Some of that run was up a few very steep grades. I was walking up the first one, thinking about how much my physical conditioning had lapsed from not running almost every day, when Gilly pulled up beside me in Packer’s Command Cart.

   “Hey, need a lift?” She had that Gilly smile that always put people at ease.

   I looked up the grade and finally slid in and sat down, “Thanks, I forgot how uphill everything is around here.”

   She started the cart up the road and said, “Daniel, I’m going to get straight to the point and I’d really appreciate it if you would agree to listen without pre-judgement?”

   “I’ve always tried to be open-minded, Gilly, but there’s a limit.”

   She sounded sad as she said, “Yes, I imagine there is.” She was silent for a moment and then said, “What was done to you is unforgiveable, I know that, Jerry knows that, god, everyone knows that. I think the ones the most upset are Danni and Debra, but I want to talk about Jerry first though, okay?”

   “Okay.”

   She seemed to be contemplating how to start, and then said, “When the representatives from the government arrived, the first thing they started with was the topic of what they could provide Asylum if we joined in the effort to reorganize the nation. They painted a very rosy picture of the possibilities.”

   “I’m sure they did,” I said. “They need Asylum, Holloman, and Denver to be on-board; you represent a sizable organized portion of the middle of the U.S.”

   “Yes, we do, and the area we control could be even greater if we play our cards right. When the Federal Government came here, they also sent envoys to Holloman and Denver. They ordered Holloman to be ready to support them if we or Denver refused to toe the line, we didn’t find that out until days after you left…”

   “Escaped, with Stacey’s help; let’s be precise, not politically correct.”

   She was silent for a moment before she said, “Their evidence condemning you was compelling, Daniel, especially when you consider the second personality you, yourself, admit to. It was never a problem when all things are considered, but the way they twisted it, it was concerning. They actually had a person they claimed was one of the foremost experts on aberrant psychology that convinced some of us you were unreliable and a liability. Dak tried to reassure us that you were not a problem, but when you consider his credentials compared to the expert’s, well, you could see our dilemma.”

   “Of course, I can. That’s the reason I was unsure about returning here.”

   She pulled to the side of the road and asked, “Why did you come, Daniel, are you testing the waters to see if you can come back?”

   “I came for two reasons, the first, and most compelling, was to see my children. The second was to pay back a friend who had performed a service for me.”

   She stared at me and then said, “So, you’re not looking to return?”

   “No, but like I said, I’m open to possibilities. I’ll consider it if it’s to my, and my children’s, benefit.”

   “What about Danni, and Debra?”

   “They made choices; choices have consequences.”

   “That’s not a fair assessment, Daniel, you know it isn’t. Debra was concerned for both you and Danni when Danni went off the rails. You know what the contaminant does to people, heck, you were the one that figured it out to begin with. Danni seemed the most immediate problem at the time because Debra didn’t know the Government was taking you the very next day. If she would have known, she would have done anything she could to help you. You weren’t here when Debra was so distraught, she cried night and day. You weren’t here when Danni realized what she had done and was crushed by the weight of it. Both of those girls love you, Daniel, and I firmly believe that if it wasn’t for their children, we may have lost both of them.”

   I looked her in the eyes and asked, “What do you mean?”

   “Daniel, it’s really wonderful that you are so humble and don’t realize the effect you have on those around you, on the other hand, that same humility can be problematic. You don’t realize the pain you can inflict, unintentionally, because you don’t recognize your importance. You imagine that you are easily cast aside, you’re not. The girls, I’ve watched them spirally down into the depths of depression; they both blame themselves for you leaving and us for not finding you. When Jerry agreed to hand you over to the Government? It destroyed a part of him, I watched the man I’ve been married to for twenty years break down and cry because he felt he was abandoning you.”

   “I didn’t know.”

   “Of course, you didn’t, how could you?" She wiped at her eyes and said, “He was going to resign his commission and he wanted to leave Asylum, but me and others, Felicia, Dak, lots of them, begged him to stay. When Julia brought the proof you were innocent? Daniel, I’ve never seen him so angry, so upset, he literally screamed, something I’ve never heard him do before. He loves you like a son, Daniel. Can you see the effect this has had on him?”

   “I doubt I can come back, Gilly; my credibility has been shot to shit. How can anyone here trust me with anything important after all of this? It will always be in the back of their minds; can I be trusted? I don’t want to see that in their eyes when they look at me.”

   “You shouldn’t think that way, Daniel. Are there people who will have their doubts at first? Of course, there will be, it’s human nature, but we can get past it, I promise. Let me tell you something about how most of us feel about you. When the girls returned, they told a few people what they learned about you while they were there. Did you really kill over fifty criminals that were terrorizing the people where you were?”

   I looked away and said, “They deserved it, they raped, tortured, and murdered Stacey.”

   “And you loved her, didn’t you?”

   I nodded and my eyes started to leak tears, “Yes, she was one of the few people that I knew believed in me. It seemed everyone else…”

   “I know it probably seemed that way, but it’s not true. Even before we received the information you were innocent; the vast majority of the Rangers and the Militia had already stated they didn’t believe the Government’s accusations. Banner actually called his battalion to formation and asked every man and woman who believed in you to step forward; the entire battalion stepped forward, Daniel, the entire battalion. This story about you killing so many people for what was done to Stacey? No one who has heard it, doubts it! You, are a legend here, Daniel, and legends die hard, just as they should. This is your home, Asylum, is your home, Debra and Danni are your wives, your children are here, your friends are here, your duty is here.”

   I wiped at my face and looked away before saying, “Stacey is buried at the Adobe, I don’t want to leave her alone.”

   Gilly reached out and laid her hand on my arm, “Daniel, we can bring her here, she’ll have a place of honor that others can visit and spend time in contemplation of the meaning of love, trust, devotion, loyalty and duty.”

   “She really loved the Adobe, she said it was the first place she felt like she was home. I don’t want to take her from that.” I took a deep breath and released it. “I think of it as home now, where my heart is. Maybe I can find someone to stay there and take care of it when I’m gone. Someone that will keep the weeds pulled over her grave and plant flowers for her, you know? Maybe a vegetable garden, she was looking forward to next Spring and then the following harvest; she said it was going to be wonderful to eat the food we grew. It would be a really great place to retire to when I get old.”

   “If that’s what you want, then make it so. Is it a good place for children to grow up?”

   “Yeah, they could hike the hills, hunt, fish the river, learn about gardening and husbandry. The house is about as safe as a house could be,” I chuckled sadly and said, “You’d need a bunker buster to breach the walls.” A sign of the times I suppose, thinking about how defensible a home would be.

   Gilly put her hands back on the steering wheel and said, “It sounds wonderful, Daniel. It sounds like the perfect place to take your family on weekends and holidays and I wish Jerry and I had a place like that also, but if we are to have that, first we need to create a world where we don’t need to wonder how strong our homes are, we need a world safe for our children and we need your help to create it. Please, Daniel, we need you.”

   I nodded, but said, “How much farther to the day care?”

   She pulled back onto the road as she said, “We’re almost there. I want you to do something when we get there, when we walk in, be quiet and don’t say anything, okay?”

   “Why?”

   “Danni Lynn seems to be slow about talking…”

   “I was told I was also.”

   “She says Mama, Mommy, John, and oddly enough, Daddy.”

   “Really? I’ve been gone for months and she wasn’t talking when I left.”

   “I know, it’s kind of puzzling, don’t you think?” She pulled to a stop in front of a modular building that had a sign reading Child Care painted on its front.

   “Here we are.” She pointed down a short road with maybe ten or twelve houses lined up on it. “See the white house with blue trim? That’s where your family lives; Debra, Danni, and the kids.” I nodded and slid out of the Command Cart to stare at the child care center. When Gilly walked around the cart she said, “Come on, let’s go say, hi.”

   We went up a set of stairs and I opened the door for Gilly to enter; she paused in the doorway and then motioned me in. After I stepped in and closed the door, she held her index finger to her lips, so I remained quiet. I saw Danni Lynn immediately. With her mother’s wild and curly hair, she was hard to miss, even with her back turned to me. I smiled and started to walk forward, but Gilly held my arm as she whispered, “Wait.”

   Several seconds passed and then Danni Lynn raised her head and glanced around the room until she turned and her eyes settled on me. She stood up from where she was drawing a picture and touching the side of her nose, she said, “Daddy!” And then ran to me, I was amazed by her dexterity and balance. Kneeling, I scooped her into my arms and held her tightly as she pressed her face into my neck and began patting my face. I started to cry. Then she pulled away and pointed to a short hall, placed her finger alongside her nose and said, “Momma, John-John!”

   I stood up with her in my arms and started to walk towards the hall when Debra walked out holding John. When she saw me with Danni Lynn, she froze as John began squirming against her. Then it hit me, I was smelling a scent I had never sensed before, it was coming from Danni Lynn. “What the…?”

   Debra nodded and tightened her grip on my wriggling son as she said, “Danni and I wondered if it was just a mother-child thing, but I guess the olfactory effect extends to you as well. Can you smell Danni Lynn?”

   I nodded and asked, “How were they contaminated?”

   “To our knowledge, they’ve never been exposed.”

   I continued to approach, stood close to John and extended my hand to stroke his cheek, he immediately ceased squirming and became still as he turned his nose to my hand. “When did it start?”

   “Right after we moved into the modular home. All the homes have been completely sanitized before anyone moved in, so there shouldn’t have been anything in there. Sara and Felicia are checking other kids born to contaminated parents and it seems to be transmitted through the mothers, not the fathers.”

   “But the kids can detect the father also?” I asked.

   “If the father was contaminated, yes, if not, then there seems to be no scent connection.” She wasn’t smiling as she spoke to me and she seemed purposefully distant in her demeanor. She was definitely exhibiting a detached attitude towards me. I couldn’t really blame her after the way I had acted in the Adobe. It was probably for the best anyway.

   “So, you brought Martin to speak with Julia?”

   A simple question that could create complicated answers; I chose easy and simply replied, “Yes.”

   “Did she agree to Terry working here?” She used a napkin to wipe John’s mouth and her arm where he had drooled on her, “He’s teething,” she said.

   “I figured that was the case,” I answered. “I don’t know what she decided, they started speaking computerese and I went looking to see if I could find the kids and see them while I was here.”

   “Well, you’ve seen them, what now?” She reached out and used the same napkin to wipe chalk dust from Danni Lynn’s nose. “Going back to Cliff, or what?”

   “I don’t know yet, I’ll have to go back eventually no matter what I decide. Gilly wants me to come back and she provided a pretty good argument to support the idea.”

   “Really,” not a question. “Gilly, provided a reason you might want to stay,” again, not a question and her tone became sharp. She shifted John to her hip and then reached for Danni Lynn. “You must be busy then, so hand me my daughter and you can go about your business.”

   “Debra,” I said. “I’m not trying to start an argument.”

   “Wow, imagine the shit you could start if you decided you wanted to. Hand me Danni Lynn, I need to take the kids home and get them ready for the babysitter; I have a date tonight.”

   “Right,” I said as my stomach churned. “You were always in demand, so yeah. Anyone I know?”

   “Not your concern, is it?”

   Gilly said, in a disapproving tone, “Debra?”

  “You’re right, of course,” I replied. “It isn’t any of my concern.” I handed Danni Lynn to her and then headed for the door. Behind me, both of the kids started fussing.

   As I opened the door and stepped out, I heard Gilly say, “Debra, what are you doing?”

   I took the stairs down, walked to the beginning of the lane, and then started cutting across through the woods, it was quicker than walking the road back to the Intel Office. I replayed in my mind what she had said, what I had said, and I tried to figure out what I did that angered her. She was definitely angry; I could tell by how off her scent had become as we talked. I had been seriously thinking about the possibility of us getting back together, not right away, I knew I wasn’t ready for that, but maybe a possibility. Now though, yeah, life was less complicated at the Adobe, it could continue to be less complicated as long as I didn’t screw myself back into the shit again.

   I was almost to the Bunker when I decided to stop and think things out. It was really pissing me off that I couldn’t figure out what I had done wrong. I sat down beside a fallen tree and leaned against it. The woods, here at Asylum, smelled different than the area around the Adobe and frankly, I missed the smell of the pines. Another thing I missed was the sound of the wind when it passed through the trees. I sat there and allowed the smell and sound to envelope me. What the hell did I say that ticked her off? I asked myself why it mattered? Why should I even care?

   The answer was, I cared because I wanted to be able to visit my children, that’s why it mattered. If I was going to successfully navigate the minefield of our relationship, I needed to know what not to say as much as what to say. Unfortunately, the wrong things said could have been when she and Danni were at the Adobe and I was just reinforcing what I had said previously, then again, maybe…screw it, I was never any good at relationships; I  probably would have eventually screwed up the one with Stacey also.

   “I see you’ve kept up your tracking skills,” I said.

   “I teach tracking now, you know that.” She finished walking up on me and sat on the trunk of the fallen tree.

   “You’re scouting skills failed you.”

   “The wind was at my back, if I was scouting you, I would have come from a different angle.”

   I nodded.

   “You could have been really good at it, you know? Look how well you did just by listening to me talk about it.”

   I shrugged, “Sorry I screwed things up, but like I was just telling myself, I’ve never been very good at figuring out women.”

   “No, you haven’t,” she said as she sort of laughed. It wasn’t helpful, but then again, maybe helpful wasn’t what she was shooting for. “You were getting better at it though; a couple of more decades and you may have become tolerable.”

   “Lucky you, you bailed just in time.”

   “Damn it, Dan, can you keep the derision to a dull roar for a little while? I was joking, I’m trying here, the least you can do is put a little effort into it yourself.”

   “Shouldn’t you be getting ready for your date? Not that you have to try, I can’t think of a single guy that wouldn’t cut off a nut to catch a woman as beautiful as you, or Danni. Is she dating too?”

   “No, she’s not, and neither am I, I was trying to piss you off and I guess I succeeded.”

   “Yeah, you did, but that’s alright. I should have known better than to think…”

   “What?”

   “Nothing.”

   “Daniel, throw me a rope a here, I feel like I’m drowning.”

   “I’m not screwing with rope; I’d probably end up hanging myself.”

    “What? What do you mean?”

   “Maybe in a couple of more decades I’ll try to explain what I mean and want.” Her scent was strongly roses again, so she wasn’t angry, well not real angry, I think. “Debra,” I turned and looked up at her where she sat. “I still love the two of you, I admit it. I want to be with you and Danni, but, god, I don’t know.”

   She slid off the tree and sat next to me, not in an intimate way, just close, “Try to explain and I’ll try not to get pissed, okay? Just like we always promised each other.”

   “Yeah, and look where we are.”

   “I’ll start, okay?” She paused and then said, “Danni was really angry when she heard that Government asshole say you were responsible for Dan’s death. When she first went off and for some time afterwards, I was truly afraid she was going to hurt herself for sleeping with the man that basically killed her husband and then she allowed that man between her legs and he knocked her up. She finally started coming around a couple of days later, but by then you were gone and so was Stacey. We figured she was with you and at first, both of us were really pissed because we knew she had been interested in you for a long time. At the same time, we were glad she got you out and away. We hoped at least you were safe. Then Julia told us where you were and we went to find you and bring you home. Neither one of us really thought you were with Stacey in a, well, you know, loving and intimate way. I guess we just didn’t try to look at it from your perspective, from the view you were looking at the whole thing. It never occurred to us that you believed we didn’t love you. We didn’t know that you had been told about Danni’s actions and I guess mine too. When we found you, we thought you would be happy and want to come home with us and when you didn’t, when  we realized you had been in a committed relationship with Stacey, and then you said we represented heartache and you didn’t want any more, I guess we figured it was a lost cause and we came home.”

   I nodded, “That about sums it up, I guess. I told Stace I still loved the two of you and I wanted her to come with me if we got back together. Then she was killed, and I went off the deep end. I’m not going to lie to you, Debra, I don’t know what I’m doing right now. I don’t know where I’m going, all I know is I love you and Danni and I miss my kids, but I don’t know if it can be like it was between us. I’m not the same guy the two of you knew. The other guy is gone and I’m just not the same man the two of you knew before. Debra, you and Danni may be in love with someone that’s just not here any longer.”

   “But you say you love us?”

   “I do, but the guy that loves you is not the man you loved. I’m open to trying, but we need to start over and find out if who I am now is the man you want, do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

   “If that’s what you need, Daniel, then that’s what we’ll do.”

   “No, not good enough, Debra, don’t speak for Danni, and don’t decide now who you want in the future. I think we should get to know each other again, the three of us and then decide what we want to do.”

   “Daniel, I already…”

   “I said, no, and I meant, no. We get to know each other again and then we go from there.”

   “Daniel, listen to me, Danni and I already talked about it, we already made the decision that we would…”

   “Debra, you and Danni made a decision, but there’s three of us.”

   She sat there quietly and finally said, “Oh, you mean you might not want to be with us. We have to prove that we are worth your wanting.”

   “That’s a harsh way of expressing it and not what I meant either. You don’t have to prove yourselves; you are who you are, now let’s find out if who you are, and who I am now, are who we want to spend our lives with.”

    “If you don’t want us, why even try?” She was getting angry again, I could see it in her eyes and her scent was changing as well.

   “I thought we were going to try and not get angry?”

   “Don’t fucking patronize me, Dan, I’m not in the mood for…” I waited as she choked back her anger and then wiped at her eyes, “You’re right,” she said. “Okay, I’ll explain to Danni what you want and if she agrees, that’s what we’ll do.”

   I stood up and then grabbed her hand and pulled her up as well, “Why don’t you and Danni talk about it and then maybe we can get together for an evening and test the waters before I have to return to the Adobe.”

   She nodded and started walking back up the way she had come down, “When are you leaving?”

   “Soon, very soon.”

   “Alright, why don’t you come for dinner tonight? It will give you some time with the kids and we can spend some time together in a quiet atmosphere after they’re down for the night.”

   “What time?”

   She glanced at her watch and said, “Seven, maybe seven-thirty?”

   “Okay, I’ll be there.”

   “Promise?”

   “Promise.”

   When I returned to the entrance of the underground, I walked through the Bunker and found Julia, Terry, and Packer sitting at a table in the Ready Room. I walked in and joined them as Packer asked, “So, did you see Debra? I found out she was off today, but Danni was running field exercises with her training class.”

   “Yeah, we talked and agreed I should come by this evening for dinner and then discussion after the kids are down for the night. Did the two of you know the kids have the same olfactory ability as Debra, Danni, and I?”

   “Yes,” Julia said as Packer nodded in agreement. “I was curious to see how they reacted to you after not seeing you for so long. How did it go?”

   “Danni Lynn had her back to me and smelled me first; when she did, she turned and ran to me after shouting, Daddy!” I smiled and added, “John seemed very agitated until I touched him and then he settled down, he actually held my hand as he smelled it.”

   “Oh, wow,” Julia said. “They remember your smell, that’s wild.”

   “So,” I said as I pointed to Terry. “What do you two think of young Mister Martin?”

    Packer nodded and said, “He’s looking very promising. I want to offer him a provisional job to see how it works out.”

   Terry smiled and said, “All I need to do is get my foot in the door.” He smiled directly at Julia and I had a feeling the statement held true for more than just a job.

   “Julia,” I said. “How are things between you and Walter?” I wanted to see how things stood for more than one reason.

   She shrugged and said, “Okay, I guess.”

   Her tone spoke volumes, “What’s going on?” I asked.

   “Why does everyone keep asking me that?”

   “Because a lot of people love you,” Packer said.

   “Even as far away as I was,” I said. “I heard disturbing rumors of possibilities.”

   “Ignore them, that’s what I do,” She answered. I began to suspect with a certainty that something was wrong.

   Packer leaned forward and said, “Lieutenant Ortiz, is Pix compromising the security of the Intelligence Office?”

   She started staring at her hands and barely nodded her head as she said, “No.” People will do that sometimes, they answer verbally, but their nonverbal speech contradicts them. Her head nodded ‘yes’, she verbalized, ‘no’.

   “General Packer,” I said. “I believe you need an outside party to study the efficiency of the Intel Office staff.”

   “Do you believe an outside contractor might be able to end any internal conflict and improve the output of the office?” He asked.

   “Yes, Sir, I do.” I kept staring at Julia and she started to squirm in her chair. “In addition, Sir, I suspect there has been physical abuse, intimidation, and further threats of violence made to critical personnel.” Julia is a tiny woman, she claims five-foot, but I doubt it. The funny thing is, usually people come away from meeting her thinking she’s much taller in stature, probably because of her big personality. Right that moment, she was looking very small. I looked closely and saw the first tear trickle down her face. “Perhaps it might be best if another woman were to interview the Lieutenant, in case there is personal information she might not want to divulge to a man?”

   Packer pushed his chair back and said, “I’ll get her now,” as he walked away.

   I figured Danni might be at the rifle range holding court after field training, so I stepped outside and looked. It’s about 75 to 100 yards to the range and I could see a class sitting at the tables as she was drawing on a whiteboard. I placed two fingers in my mouth and blew a shrill whistle, then watched as she didn’t look. I blew again and this time she glanced up and then stared in my direction. I held my palm in a spear point and pulled it to the center of my chest where Militia and Rangers wear their rank patch, three times to signify I wanted a captain. Then I pointed the spear point at her with my arm extended before sweeping it up and towards me several times, come here. Finally, I raised my fist into the air and pumped it up and down, hurry.

   She turned to someone else and spoke, then picked up her rifle and started jogging towards me. When she arrived, she said, “Daniel? When did you get here?”

   “This morning, but something’s going on and I want you here.”

   “What is it?”

   “When you were at the Adobe, remember you said Julia had suspicious bruises?”

   “Yes.”

   “I think we’re about to find out where they came from and I’m pretty sure it was Walter.”

   “That motherfucker…”

   “Don’t go there, she’ll clam up if you do, okay? Just be supportive and I think she’ll give it up to you and Gilly.”

   She nodded and started to walk past me as she said, “Okay, but we’re going to have a serious talk when this is over.”

   “I’m coming for dinner at seven, we’ll talk then.”

   She stopped and looked at me, “What?” Gilly and Packer came out and walked to Julia, so Danni said, “I still want a word with you when this is over; I mean it.”

   I gave her a slight, sarcastic bow, and said, “Yes, your Highness.”

   Gilly sat down next to Julia and Danni took the other side. Packer motioned to Terry and I as he walked out of the Ready Room. “Let’s wait out here and let the ladies hash this out.”

   “If Pix has been up to no good, what are you going to do?” I asked.

   “Depends on what he did; I just hope it’s not a case of she said, he said.” Packer was looking extremely uncomfortable.

   “Why?” Terry asked.

   “Because those type of things never go far in a court room.” He shrugged and added, “If he did something else though, something that we can sink our teeth into, I’ll exact every pound of flesh I can,” he said. “And I’ll make sure that he knows, whatever he did to Julia is what got him wherever he ends up.”

   I didn’t say anything, I didn’t consider myself part of the Asylum leadership and there were no restrictions on what I could do. I smiled to myself as I thought of possibilities.

   The three of us stood and talked as we, more often than not, looked back into the room to see what was happening. Finally, Gilly came out with a grim expression, “Walter Pix has some things to answer for, Jerry.”

   Packer immediately started walking back inside as he said, “I’m going to give Williams a call and have him hunt up Pix and confine him right away.”

   Gilly turned to me and said, “Julia wants to talk to you, she feels like she betrayed your trust and feels horrible.”

   “What did he do to her?” I asked.

   “Beat her, raped her, told her he would kill anyone that came between her and him. Threatened her life if she didn’t agree to marry him, threatened Debra and Danni because they are married to you. Threatened your life if he ever found out she had told you what he has done.” She took hold of my arm and squeezed, “You are, whether you realize it or not, her hero, she loves you the way she would an older brother and Pix knows that, he used it against her.”

   I nodded and walked in to where Julia was sitting. Her face was tear stained, her nose was red and her eyes looked like they were going to bleed. Terry followed and stood close by as I kneeled beside her and put my arms around her, “It’s going to be okay, Julia, wait and see, things are going to work out.”

   “How?” She whispered. “I really screwed up and now he knows things he shouldn’t, I didn’t do like you said, Daniel, I trusted, but I didn’t verify.”

   “I guarantee we’ll verify now, Julia.”

   “It’s too late, no one will ever trust me to do my job again, and I can’t blame them.”

   “Sometimes, Sugar, life teaches us terrible lessons; it’s up to us to learn the lessons and apply them to help each other and sometimes, even ourselves. You learned a hard lesson in a bad way, I kind of think you are going to be more careful in the future, right?”

   “If I have the chance; I’ll probably end up in the cafeteria cleaning trays and dishes again.” She wiped her nose on the sleeve of her shirt and then stared at the smear of snot, “That was gross.”

   Terry reached out and handed her a napkin, “Here, try this.”

   She blew into it really hard; the paper napkin came apart and she covered her fingers with more than a smear, “It just keeps getting worse,” she groaned. She stole a furtive glance at Terry and said, “God, you must think I’m a real skank.”

   “No, not at all, I think…”

   Packer walked in and said, “We have a problem, Williams sent two men to pick up Pix and he escaped.”

   “Oh, shit,” Julia said. “He’s going to come after me or someone I care about, he said he would!” She started crying again.

   Danni squeezed her shoulders and said, “No, Sweetie, he’s not getting close to you without going through someone else first.” Danni looked at Packer and added, “I’m going to take her home with me. Between me and Debra, the son-of-a-bitch won’t stand a chance.”
  “No,” Packer said. “He’s pissed at the two of you also, taking her there will just create a target rich environment; we need somewhere he doesn’t know, somewhere he’s never been.”

   Terry quickly raised his hand, but everyone spoke over him as they discussed places Julia might be safe. “Excuse me!” He almost shouted. “Uh, I know the perfect place Julia, I mean Lieutenant Ortiz, would be safe and Pix has no idea where it is.”

   I hid my smile and waited.

   Packer looked around and said, “Where?”

   “My grandparents farm.”

   Everyone just stared at him and I could see he was becoming uncomfortable, so I said, “It’s a good idea, Pix has no inkling of where the farm is. Once we get him in custody, we bring her back here.”

   “But,” Danni started.

   “You’re right,” Julia said. “He doesn’t know where Terry, I mean Mister Martin lives. There’s no record in the data base, so how could he know?” She thought for a moment and added, “I’ll have to get some fresh clothes from my bunk room and my carbine…”

   “No,” I said. “The longer you take to leave, the better the chance Walter finds out you are leaving. Just go, right now.” I turned to Martin and said, “Terry, in the gun cabinet in my loft, there’s a Glock 17 with a shoulder stock and a bandoleer of 33 round mags, it will be perfect for Julia. You know that rifle Stacey always had? The Mossberg with the twenty round mags?”

   “Yeah.”

   “Take it for yourself, it’s a good shooter and holds more rounds than your lever action chambered for .45 Long Colt. It should be easier to find ammo for it also.”

   “Thanks, Dan.”

   “Now go, get out of here.”

   Julia stood up and everyone gave her hugs and kisses before Terry hustled her out the door and to his truck. Danni looked at me and said, “Are you sure about this?”

   “Yeah, he’s a good kid and believe me, he wants to protect Julia, not control her.”

   Gilly said, “I don’t know for sure, but I think Julia has a little more than a passing interest in that young man.”

   “She could do a lot worse,” I said. “He’s steady, well-mannered, and good natured. Not to mention they can spend hours talking computer forensics.”

   Packer sat down and rubbed his face, “Young people, first she’s all about Pix and now this kid, god, I’m glad I’m past all that drama crap.”

   What he said irritated me a bit, “Julia is a lot older than her years, but still inexperienced in some matters. Someone started paying attention to her and she fell for it. As far as being flighty and jumping from one person to another, someone brutalizing you can have that effect.”

   I guess it was too much for Danni to ignore, “What’s the excuse you’re using?”

   The interior of the Ready Room went quiet as I said, “After you and Debra left the Adobe, I did some soul searching and decided that maybe I was over-reacting; you were under the influence of the contaminant and hell, maybe I was too. So, I decided to come here and talk to the two of you and see if we could find some common ground, ground that we might be able to come to a consensus on. Something we could use as a foundation to rebuild; maybe I was wrong. As far as an excuse? Excuses are worthless and mean nothing. Reasons though, are valid if based in fact. I assume you’re referring to me being flighty and flitting over to Stacey’s flower? My reasons were based in trust and lack of trust, faith and lack of faith, and finally, love and hate.” I stood up and sighed, “Things seem more inviting elsewhere, tell Debra I’m sorry for breaking my promise, but I think I need a period of quiet and peace before screwing myself back into the game, hell, I don’t know if I even want to make the effort. It’s been…interesting.” I turned around and started walking out to where my truck was parked; diesel fuel was getting harder to find and at the moment, it seemed the fuel I had expended was for nothing.

   I heard some raised voices as I turned left outside and continued to walk, but then I heard running steps and Danni’s voice, “Daniel! Wait a minute, Daniel! Stop! Please?”

   I released a sigh and thought, okay, here comes some shit. I stopped, though I really didn’t know why; I was spinning my wheels and I knew it. When she caught up with me, the first thing she said was, “This better be real, Daniel, I’m not going to…”  I turned and continued walking towards the truck. “God damn it! Can’t I be even a little pissed? Can’t I at least blow off some steam before I start sucking up to you?”

   Sucking up to me? I spun around and stormed back until I was an inch from her face, “Suck up to me?! You really think I need your suckage?! Do you know what your problem is?! You like being angry! You revel in the power you feel when you’re pissed off!” She started backing up as her eyes became round and her mouth formed an ‘O’. “You want confrontation! You enjoy it! You think it makes you seem strong and in control, but it doesn’t! It makes you look like a petulant bitch! If you could crawl out of that hateful shithole you’ve immersed yourself in you could probably see it for yourself! Believe me, I know what I’m talking about! I’m in that shithole myself, but I was trying to crawl out!”

   I went silent and stared into her eyes for an extended period of time before she cleared her throat and said, “Is suckage actually a word?”

   “What?”

   “You said suckage, is it really a word, because it’s kind of cool, in a weird kind of way. If it’s actually a word, I bet I could work it into one of my ass-chewing sessions with the trainees.”

   I think I was stunned at first, but then I said, “Unbelievable, un-fucking-believable.”

   “Are you done feeling powerful? Because if you are, the offer for dinner is back on the table.”

   “Danni, what are you doing?” I could feel my voice trembling from the adrenaline coursing through my veins.

   “Daniel, remember you said the other guy disappeared? That he hadn’t been around since before you left with Stacey?”

   “Yeah.”

   “That sort of sounded like him, tempered by you. Maybe he has finally become part of you and you part of him. I kind of like it.”

   “I’ll be there at seven, until then, leave me alone.” Debra has the two different smells, roses and cinnamon. Danni does too, but hers are different and I’ve never been able to identify the two scents and hang a name on them, but what I did know was, she was especially aroused by me shouting in her face.

   “Okay,” she said. “But just know, you can smell the way I feel right now, and I can smell how you feel also, so let’s drop the pretense and admit we still want each other, okay?”

   I shook my head as I turned and walked away. Shit.

 

   The closer it came to seven o’clock the more nervous I became. If it wasn’t for the chance to spend an extended period of time with Danni Lynn and John, there’s a good chance I would have simply left and returned home to the Adobe. Packer’s runner hunted me down and told me he wanted to talk with me, so at about five thirty, I wandered into the Ready Room and waved to him in his office where he sat behind his desk. He promptly motioned me inside.

   “General, your runner said you wanted to speak with me.”

   “Yeah, look, Daniel, Julia has only been gone a few hours and the Intel Office is grinding to a halt. I was talking to Anthony Caballero and they have some stuff coming in that they need correlated and he can’t pull it together. He’s good at what he does, but he’s not Julia and let’s face it, she’s not you. How would you feel about going down in the Hole and taking a look at what they have?”

   “I didn’t come here looking for a job, General Packer, I’m planning on going home sooner, or later.”

   “I know, Daniel, but…” He faded out and then said, “Is there some way I can convince you to stay? It’s just not the same around here with you gone.”

   I didn’t want to answer him, even after he gave me to the Federal Government, I still couldn’t help, but like him. He was fooled along with others, but I still had that deep-seated sense of betrayal. I was constantly walking around with a feeling of confliction; one moment I was happy and excited, the next I would slip into depression or anger, so I simply said, “Things change, General, sometimes for the good, sometimes not so much. Maybe I’m lucky, I learned early on to keep my distance from the actions of others, I guess I forget about the importance of that on occasion, but there’s always someone ready to remind me.” I looked away from his expression and added as I returned my gaze to his, “Anything is possible though, right?” I smiled and said, “Let’s go take a look and see what’s going on,” I glanced at my watch as said, “I have an hour before I need to be somewhere else.”

   We started walking towards Phase 2 and he continued to ask questions.

   “Dinner with your wives and the kids, right? Danni mentioned it to me and seemed excited about it.”

   “Right now? It’s more dinner with my children and then a talk with the mothers.”

   He looked puzzled and then frowned as he realized what I was saying, “Oh, so do the girls understand you’re not committing to anything?”

   “I am committed, General, I’m committed to seeing if we can develop a common place to start from, to see if there’s somewhere to go once we start.”

   “You know what I mean, Dan.”

   “You’re smart, General, you also know what I mean.” I sighed and said, “I haven’t been evasive, Jerry, I’ve been completely up front with how I feel. Now, we need to see if there is anything to build on; that’s all I can promise.”

   After that, we talked about other topics. I told him about the Adobe and the improvements Stacey and I had made to the empty shell it had been. I told him of the future plans we had made together and I think he began to grasp the disconnect I had with Asylum. We arrived at the Intel Office and I pushed the entrance buzzer which brought Caballero to the door that he opened.

   “Major Monroe! It’s great to see you back again!” He actually seemed pleased with my arrival.

   “Tony, you’re looking a little more fit than when I left and that’s Menendez now, so just call me Daniel, okay?”

   “Sir?” Now he was looking confused.

   “My name is Menendez now, Tony, and I’m no longer a Major. I’m simply here in an outside advisor capacity, so you’re the one in charge, not me.”

   “Uh…”

   He looked at Packer who nodded and then said, “He’s here to take a look at the plot you are trying to make sense of, why don’t you show it to him?”

   He did and frankly, it was a mess. I kept walking the length of the board reading notes and the way they were connected before I finally said, “Oh, okay, got it.”

   Packer smiled at Tony and back to me, “Figured it out already, excellent, I knew you were good, but…”

   I laughed and said, “No, General, all I figured out was what the topic is and the central point; now the real work begins.” I began stripping colored yarns and reattaching them to new points of interest and naturally, I lost track of time.

   Packer said, “Dan, you only have ten minutes until seven; we need to stop for now.”

   I pulled myself out of the web and said, “What?”

   “Dinner, at Debbie and Danni’s place, you have ten minutes.”

   “Aw, for shit’s sake, I’ll never make it in time!”

   Packer laughed and said, “Same old Dan, I called a cart for us; it’s waiting outside.”

   “Thanks, General!” I laid down the skein of yarn I was holding and realized both Tony and Kate Hightower were sitting at the conference table watching me. “Okay,” I said to them. “If you come up with more data, leave it on the table and I’ll get back to this tomorrow, okay?”

   They both answered, “Yes, Sir.” As they got up and started going over the web.

   To Packer I said, “Let’s go!”

   We arrived at precisely seven o’clock and I slid out of the cart, “Thanks, General Packer.”

   “Calm down before you go in there, you’re a little stressed looking right now.”

   “Yes, Sir, of course.”

   Giving me a critical look, he said, “You should have shaved and got a haircut.” Then he started to pull away, but stopped, “Daniel, I think you want this to turn out more than you think. Go in there with that frame of mind rather than wait and see, okay?”

   I nodded and he drove away as I started up the four steps to the front porch attached to the modular home. At the front of the door, I took a deep breath and firmly knocked on its metallic surface. Whoever designed the door did a good job, the steel sheathing looked like wooden planks, you could even see the texture of the wood pressed into the metal. I took another deep breath and slowly exhaled as I heard the door latch unlocked and the door began to open. I pasted a smile on and…

   He shot me twice in the chest, pointblank. As I stumbled backwards, he fired again at my face, but he clipped my right ear instead. As I started falling backwards, I pulled the MP-9 and fired two rounds upwards into his chest and the third entered his left cheek and exited the back of his head; Walter Pix began falling to the floor as I slammed into the gravel walkway to the porch. I panicked; he was in the house! He was in the house with Debra, Danni, and the kids! I groaned as I rolled to my side and then to my stomach, god my chest was hurting bad. I struggled to draw a breath as I pushed to my feet, pulled myself up the steps and into the house where I found both Danni and Debra tied in chairs in the living room. Danni had her uniform on, but Debra was naked. They were both fighting their bindings and screaming through the fabric stuffed in their mouths and taped in place. I could hear both of the children crying.

   I almost made it to them before I dropped to my knees, my ears were ringing loudly, my vision kept fading out and I decided I was probably going into shock. Blood was starting to drip onto the floor as I crawled on my hands and knees to Danni who was closest and pulled my pocket knife out to cut her bonds, but there just wasn’t enough air, the pain when I tried to breathe was incapacitating, so I laid there a moment before once again getting back to my knees. I reached behind her and started cutting the paracord that was digging into her flesh. The paracord tying her right wrist finally let go and Danni reached up and ripped off the duct tape and then pulled out the fabric inside of her mouth.

   “Daniel! Give me the knife! Give it to me!” She was reaching out to me and I forced myself to get the knife close enough she could take it. She began sawing at the cord securing her other arm and legs and then she released Debra as I pulled myself to the wall and propped myself up against it. God, my chest was hurting so bad! “Debbie! Call 911, get a crash cart up here!”

   I started fading out again as she ripped open the front of my sweatshirt and froze, “Oh, thank god! You have a vest on! Debbie! He’s wearing a bullet resistant vest! Daniel, I know you’re in pain, but you’re going to be okay, just like last time. Just concentrate on breathing, you’ll be okay, I promise!”

   I could feel my heart beating in my ears. Thump, thump…thump, thump…thump…thump, thump, thump… … thump…thump, thump. Every time it faltered my vision would start to fade and the ringing in my ears…

 

   I was lying in a hospital bed again. That’s not good, I’ve been in a hospital and waking up, so many times, it’s become familiar. What happened this time? Oh, yeah, I got shot. Wait, I had the vest on, why am I…blunt force trauma. Okay. I tried to take a deep breath and squeaked as the pain shut it down. Instead, I started concentrating on taking shallow breaths. I opened my eyes and saw Mary Cho attaching leads to my abdomen, “EKG?” I whispered.

   She jumped and looked to the side and then leaned down close to me, “Yes, but don’t worry, Doctor Horne says you’re improving and you’re going to be okay.”

   I nodded and then glanced to where Mary had looked before; Danni was slumped in a chair and asleep. I looked back and Mary pressed her index finger to her lips, “Shhh,” she leaned down and whispered to me, “We have to stop meeting like this, Debra and Danni are going to get suspicious.”

   I snorted and then groaned from the stabbing pain in the center of my chest.

   “Wha, what?” Danni, I woke her up. “Is he awake?” She stood up and leaned over to look at me, “You are awake! Good, Doc Horne said you would wake up soon and you did.” She leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips. I whispered and she leaned down and turned her ear to my mouth, “I’m sorry, Babe, what did you say?”

   “The kids?”

   “They’re fine, really, they are.”

   “Good,” I coughed and groaned, “What was for dinner?”

   “Oh,” she straightened up and said, “Debbie fixed Lemon Pepper Chicken with a jalapeno sauce, fresh mashed potatoes, and string beans with home baked rye bread. It would have been excellent, but it’s gone, Pix ate it before you got there.”

   “He’s dead, right?”

   “Yeah, you did good.”

   My right ear decided to start singing, so I reached up and touched the bandages over it, “How bad?”

   “The bullet clipped the top of your ear; there may be a notch in it, but Horne says it’s nothing.”

   “This hurts,” I whispered as I touched the area of my sternum. “A lot worse than the first time.”

   “That’s not surprising, Pix used a .45 instead of 9 mil. The bullets are twice as heavy and knocked the shit out of you. You’ve got some cracked ribs and really bad bruising.”

   I nodded again and closed my eyes.

 

   Someone was laughing when I opened my eyes and I felt a lot better than the first time I woke up. I tried to sit upright and remembered not to try that again as pain stabbed me in the chest. I must have groaned because the curtain around my bed was pulled aside and Gilly was there. “I thought I recognized that laugh.”

   “I’m sorry, Daniel, Mary was just leaving and she told me what she said to you last night when you woke up. How are you?”

   “It’d be great if I could take a deep breath.”

   “I imagine so. Jerry landed in a tree one time when he was making a parachute jump to maintain his Airborne qualification and fractured some ribs. I had to baby him for weeks until I discovered he was faking how long the recovery process was taking.”

   I controlled a laugh and asked, “Debra and Danni, back home with the kids?”

   “Danni is. Debra is here, but she’s in the Ladies Room, too much coffee this morning.”

   “She should be at work; she doesn’t need to be here for me.”

   “Maybe, but let me ask you this, are you glad she is? Were you glad Danni was last night?”

   I hesitated and then said, “Yes, really glad.” My voice broke on the last word and I grimaced as I tried to take a deep breath.

   “Are you all right?”’

   “Yeah, guess I need to avoid any emotion for a while.”

   “Maybe, maybe not. Which is more painful, the fractured ribs, or being alone?”

   “Being alone.”

   “Well, then,” Gilly smiled. “Aren’t you lucky you’re not alone?”

   Debra walked around the curtain as she wiped her cheeks, and then she leaned down and gave me kiss, “You’re never alone, Daniel, not as long as Danni and I are alive.”

   “Which makes me wonder, how the hell did Pix get the jump on the two of you?”

   “It wasn’t the two of us, it was me,” Debra said. “I had no idea what was going on with Pix and the fact he was a fugitive. That’s something we need to do something about in the future; some way we can notify the community when there’s trouble around. Believe it or not, he knocked on the door and when I answered, he shoved a gun in my face. I had John in my arms and that pretty much ended any chance I had to fight, so he had me put the kids in their cribs and then he…” Her voice faltered before she continued. “He tied me to a chair with one free hand in case the kids needed attention.”

   “That surprises me,” I said.

   “I know, I wanted to ask him, but I was afraid it might cause him to rethink his options. Anyway, he kept watch and when he saw Danni coming, he tied my free hand to the chair, stuffed a dishrag in my mouth and taped me up. When Danni walked in, he had a gun to my head and Danni had no choice, but to do what he wanted. It wasn’t until after he had secured Danni, we figured out it wasn’t us he wanted, but you. He knew you were coming for dinner and he wanted to kill you, he said everyone would be better off with you out of the picture. There was one thing he said that got me wondering, he said you were a danger to everyone and the future that was planned. Do you have any idea why he would say that?”

   I shook my head, “Not a clue. Maybe he was just playing with a card short of a full deck?”

   “Anyone that beats up a little thing like Julia deserves any trouble they have. He seemed so nice at first, so hard working and dedicated. I don’t get it, any of it.”

   I nodded and said, “He wormed his way inside pretty well, a lot like Maria, I mean Mary Stevens did.” I lay there for a moment and then said, “I need to get out of here and over to Intel, there was something they were trying to pull together and I need to finish working up the corkboard for it.” I tried to lean forward and yeah; it wasn’t going to happen. Once I got my air back, I reached towards Debra and said, “Give me a hand?”

   She stared at me and then said, “Please don’t make me say, no.”

   Gilly spoke up and said, “She’s right, Daniel, you are in no shape to be up and walking around. I was talking to Doctor Horne and he said blunt force trauma to your heart needs to be monitored for a while. That means you lay there and get better, or you will, get worse.”

   “I feel fine, I knew my heart wasn’t working right after I was shot, but now I know it is.”

   “Daniel,” Gilly shook her head. “If it wasn’t for Debra and Danni, you probably would be dead right now. Your heart stopped and they kept you going with CPR until the crash cart arrived and brought you here.”

   “Oh, uh,” I smiled at Debra and said, “Thanks?”

   She didn’t think my attempt at humor was successful, at all. “Do you have any idea at all what it feels like to see the man you love get shot in the chest and there’s nothing you can do to stop it? Do you know what it feels like to see the man you love crawling, crawling, on the floor to try and reach you so he can set you free before he blacks out?” She almost broke down and Gilly quickly wrapped an arm around her.

   “No, but I know what it feels like to fail to be there when someone you love is murdered.” I looked into her eyes and said, “Thankfully, you don’t have to bear that. You saved me; I couldn’t save her.”

   She nodded and sat on the edge of my bed, “It wasn’t your fault, Daniel, if you would have been there, you might be dead also, at least you got her revenge. You killed them all. All I could do was sit helplessly and pray for you.”

   “Okay, you two,” Gilly said. “You both lived through horrible situations, try to never allow it to happen again and then push forward, it’s the only direction we have left to us. There are no do overs, no resets, no what ifs, if only something else. Life is what it is, take it and deal with it. The three of you have laid the ground work for something wonderful, something that can carry down through the ages, don’t waste the chance you have been given.” She reached down and picked up her possibles bag and slung it over a shoulder. “Okay, I’m done with the advice and Jerry is probably wondering where his breakfast is. You two, no, the three of you, get this straightened out and get on with life and I’ll talk with you later.”

   After Gilly left, Debra stood looking at me and finally said, “Well, I guess she told, us, what for.”

   “Do you think we can? Push forward?” I asked her.

   “I’m more than ready to try and I know Danni is too.”

   “I can’t forget Stacey, Debra, she’s a part of me now.”

   She nodded and said, “Danni and I talked about it, about her and you. We decided that the only thing we can do, is accept she was there when you needed someone. She was there when you needed someone to love you. For that, we’re grateful.”

   I reached out and took her hand in mine, “Let’s do forward, John Cameron always told me to never try, just do.”

   “I wish I could have known John.”

   “So, do I, he would have loved you and Danni, and the kids? Wow, he would have been ecstatic.”

   She looked at the space between me and the edge of the bed and said, “Do you think I might fit there? I’m kind of tired and upset; the idea of sleeping in your arms is really appealing.” I started to move over and she said, “Don’t! Never mind, you’ll hurt yourself; I can nap in the chair, do you mind? If I take a nap?”

   “Of course, not, you even look wore out.” She did.

   “Okay, I’m going to go pee and talk with Pris, I’ll be back in a minute.”

   “I’m not going anywhere.” As soon as she was around the curtain I started inching over until my hip was against the opposite bed rail and then I worked at getting my breath slowed down again. When Debra came back, she had Pris Pringle with her and the two of them gave me the look. Pringle picked up my hand and looked at my fingernails and then looked at my lips.

   “You’re right,” she said to Debra. She pulled an O2 Monitor from a pocket and placed the little thing on my index finger and stared at it until it did something that displeased her. “Okay, I’ll tell Doctor Horne and we’ll see what he wants to do.” She walked out and I looked at Debra.

   “What’s going on?”

   “Your lips are blue which means you’re not getting enough oxygen. The injuries to your ribs are restricting how deeply you can breathe.”

   “Oh.”

   A few minutes later, Horne walked in and asked, “Are you short of breath?”

   “Yeah, the pain makes it difficult to take a deep breath.” I answered.

   Turning to Pringle, he said, “Dial the O2 generator up to three and monitor his saturation levels. If it doesn’t improve, increase it again, but keep me informed.”

   “Yes, Doctor.” Horne left, Pringle adjusted a dial on the O2 machine and then she left also.

   “You moved after I told you not to.”

   “You shouldn’t have mentioned laying down beside me, now stuff that crap, take off your sidearm, and get up here so I can get an arm around you.” She placed her sidearm on the table next to us and then laid down beside me. We shifted around a little until we were comfortable with her head on my shoulder and drifted off; the increase in the oxygen was welcome. I woke up twice to her nightmares and comforted her, both times she was mumbling ‘no’ over and over as she cried. When I woke in the evening, Debra was gone, but Danni was there and she was staring off into nowhere.

   “Hey,” I said. “You okay?”

   “Yeah,” she smiled and gave me a kiss. “What about you?”

   “Better, but I’m worried about Debra, she seems to be taking this thing harder than normal. She had nightmares more than once while she was here.”

   “It was hard, seeing what we saw; nightmares aren’t that odd under the circumstances.”

   “Maybe, but keep an eye on her, okay? It just feels different.”

   “Okay, I will. But don’t worry about it, she’s pretty tough, all things considered.”

  

   The next morning, Debra was back and seemed more herself and a little more upbeat. She teased me by feeding me with a little tiny spoon and finally I grabbed the bowl of scrambled eggs and just scooped them into my mouth with my fingers. She actually laughed a little. Her mood swings were still off though and I knew something was eating at her, but every time I pressed her, she would stiffen up and deny anything was wrong. Her and Danni started alternating eight hour shifts and one of them were always there with me. It was really nice, but I was starting to worry they were hovering a little more than necessary. I began to wonder if there was more wrong with me than anyone was letting on.

   Late one night, Danni was sleeping on a cot beside the bed when Mary Cho came in to do another EKG. I held my index finger to my lips and then motioned her close.

   “What it is it, Daniel? Are you in pain?” She whispered to me.

   “Yes, but not as bad,” I whispered back. “Mary, is there something else wrong with me that I don’t know? A medical problem? You’d tell me, right?”

   “Of course, I would, so would Doctor Horne. Why?”

   “The girls are making me nervous because things seem different; it’s like they’re tip-toeing around something.”

   “Daniel, my guess is they don’t want to do something that will make you consider leaving. I heard them talking to Packer yesterday and they were kind of angry because he wanted to ask you some questions about stuff going on at Intelligence. They don’t want you worrying about anything right now.”

   I nodded and said, “Well, okay,” I pointed at the printout for the EKG and asked, “Look good?”

   She smiled and whispered, “Better.”

   I relaxed a bit, but still, things were not quite right, I knew it.

 

   It was five days before they started getting normal EKG readings and Horne allowed me out after another two days of normal readouts. I wanted to go straight to Intel and finish what I had been working on, but Tech Services hooked me up with a conference type setup that allowed me to see what Julia and Terry were doing on the corkboard from another computer. It was still kind of a hassle, but we were making it work, sort of. Yeah, Julia and Terry were notified about what happened and they came to the clinic before anywhere else when they got back. Naturally, Julia was blaming herself, but she was the one who discovered Pix was dealing with the Federal Government and using his position in Intelligence to work the system. The Feds had offered him a job if he could arrange to remove me from the position I held. The entire operation was his plan from the start. He seemed such a good guy.

   In a nutshell, there is no actual Federal Government, they are, in reality, an extension of the ZPG movement. Unfortunately, they do have an extensive military contingent. Well, not military per se, but many of their troops are ex-military, or ex-alphabet guys. Everyone was wondering where all of these people came from; where did the Federals get all of these trained SWAT type people. Well, think about it, did you know the Social Security Administration had SWAT teams? How about the Department of Education? The Library of Congress? Every government agency had SWAT teams, whether they needed them or not. It was a good way to develop trained troops for an uncertain future while funding them without being blatant about it. One of the training facilities was located in Artesia, New Mexico and tens of thousands of people were trained there. We have become worrisome to the ZPGers and through them, the Government. It is really making me nervous.

   I’m living in Asylum again, but every few weeks, I take off and head down to the Adobe for a few days of R-and-R. At least one of the girls always accompanies me and both of them have started enjoying our times there. Juan Morales moved a small RV to the property and has a couple living there to take care of it and they are both people I enjoy being around. Dick and Sally Fermin are hard workers and have turned the place into a little working farm. There’s a steer being raised for beef, pigs for pork and a slew of chickens. There are two geese I fricking hate though. Dick says they are better watch dogs than dogs, but the damn things are forever pecking at me, or Danni and Debra. I see a goose dinner on the menu.

   Asylum now has a militia training facility in Cliff and if Dick and Sally ever decide to move on, I’ve told Packer he can use the Adobe as a patrol point to shelter our people when needed. Terry’s grandparents are officially residents of Asylum now and seem to really like it here. Terry and Julia quickly became a thing and I mean a thing. They have made it official and I think there will be a wedding come June. Maybe sooner if they’re doing what I think they are. We’ll see.

   Oh, and Debra is pregnant again.