ASYLUM: Chapter 32

 

Chapter 32 

“Daniel, you shouldn’t do this; Stacey would not want you to go and kill yourself, for her memory, please.” I think Juan was trying to keep me safe, but safe is not what I was looking for. The men who killed Stacey had a price to pay and I was going to ensure they paid a heavy price. Even if it killed me.

   “Dan,” Terry said. “Mister Morales is right. Give us a little time to pull people together and we can go in force. Everyone around here loved Stacey, please, give us a chance to help, okay?”

   “Pull the people together, Terry,” I said as I started applying my camo face cream. “I’m going to soften them up for you.

   “Listen, I know you can probably kill some of them, hell, Stacey got four. You can do what she suggested, you can train us up and make us into a militia of our own, but you can’t if you’re dead. Come on, Dan.”

   I didn’t answer, I finished my camo and slipped on my smock. The rest of the gear, I placed on the floorboard of my truck. “Don’t take too long, Terry, or it will be over before you get there.”

   I climbed in and drove West, down the 180.

 

   I watched the High School where the “Militia” kept their quarters from a hill on the south side of the 180 and waited until sundown. Then, wearing the gilly cape Debra and I made, I began to work my way down towards the school. At ten o’clock, I removed the breakdown rifle, Henderson had designed and built, from its case and loaded it. I began to slowly crawl towards the buildings. The sentries were pathetic and died easily. From a gasoline storage tank, I drained off two five-gallon cans and pre-positioned them for their purpose. From a storage building for the high school track and field team, I removed bags of neoprene pellets and poured them at the base of every door to the gymnasium, but one. Then I splashed generous amounts of gasoline over the pellets. When everything was ready, I struck a highway flare and ran from door to door igniting the gasoline and pellets. At the one door I didn’t prep, I took cover and switched to my bullpup with the thermal scope attached.

   I was lying only 50 feet from the door when I started hearing shouts of alarm from inside the gymnasium; it was filling with black toxic smoke. When the other doors had been opened, those trying to escape the smoke were met with blazing mounds of burning plastic and were forced back inside. They finally found the correct door, my door. I shot the first man to try and exit through it. Then the next and the next one after him. Wild, un-aimed gunfire began to pour out in various directions, but I just laid where I was and shot anyone trying to exit the building. The bodies of the panic driven victims of the smoke and fire started piling up in the doorway and I kept killing those who tried to escape. It was easy, killing them was so easy. They were idiots.

   When the building was fully engulfed with flames, I stood up and began the walk back to my truck. I drove it back to the school and watched as the flames reduced it to a complete ruin. From around the nearby homes, people began to gather and some of them cheered. I had no idea how many I had shot and I had no idea how many had died inside of smoke or fire. I had no idea and I didn’t care. These, things, had tortured, raped, and murdered a good woman, my woman, my wife, fuck them.

 

   I guess I was a little lost for a while. I drank up a lot of John Cameron’s rum and I either slept hard or was oblivious to what was going on around me. Then, one night as I knelt beside Stacy’s grave, I felt a hand on my shoulder and a woman's voice said, “Daniel? It’s cold out here and you don’t even have a jacket on. Come on, let’s go inside now.”

   I shrugged off the hand and felt around by my knee for the bottle I knew was close-by, “Leave me alone, go away.”

   “Daniel, Honey, come on, let’s go inside, it feels like snow is coming.”

   I turned and through blurred vision, looked at the face beside me, “Stacey?” Then the scent hit me, roses.

   “No, Daniel, I wish it was, come on, please?”

   I struggled up and she pushed her shoulder into my armpit and supported me to the door of the Adobe. I fumbled with the latch and finally managed to open the door and almost fall through, but she caught me and then after a moment, guided me to the bathroom.

   “The outside of your house says, ‘nothing here,’ the inside is really put together.”

   “Stacey fixed it up,” I said.

   “It’s nice.”

   “It’s empty, nothing left, but memories.”

   “Sit down,” she said. “Start getting undressed, your clothes stink.” She started to unbutton my shirt and I slapped her hands away.

   “Knock it off! I can take care of myself!” I started fumbling with the buttons of the shirt.

   “Tell me where, and I’ll get you clean clothes.”

   “No!” I took a deep breath and exhaled. “In the loft, but don’t go up there; it’s where they…why are you here?”

   “Danni and I, we came looking for you. Why don’t you want me to go up there?”

   “Because that’s where they killed Stacey!” I shouted, then shook my head and took a deep breath before opening the lid of the toilet and vomiting into it. I kept at it until nothing came out but bile.

   “Here, wipe your face,” Debra handed me a wet cloth. “I’m going to close the door, I found clean laundry on the line outside, so there’s clean clothes on the wash basin, okay?”

   Damn, how long was I vomiting? “Sure, whatever, but don’t start wandering around her house!”

   “I’m going to go get Danni and bring her in, okay?”

   I pushed her out the door, closed it, and then locked it. God damn her fucking scent! Why did they come here? Isn’t the shit I’m in deep enough?! I slid down the face of the door until I was sitting on the floor. Fuck them, fuck them both, I’m staying right here until they leave! After a few minutes, I rose to my feet and started undressing. When I was done, I turned on the water in the shower and after the water warmed, I stepped in and bowed my head under the spray. I used a bar of soap, rinsed off and then looked at the clothes she had laid out. It was the OCP Ranger uniform I was wearing the day I was arrested; I threw it on the floor and walked out in my underwear and up to the loft where I grabbed a pair of sweats and a tee-shirt. After I dressed, I went back downstairs.

   The two of them were sitting at the kitchen table, Stacey’s kitchen table. I held back an angry outburst and went to a cabinet and took out a bottle of rum before turning and looking at them. “Okay, again, why are you here?”

   Danni said, “To bring you and Stacey home.”

   “I am home! This was her home! She loved it here and so did I! You’re too fucking late! Here’s a better question,” I took a deep breath and tried to calm my anger. “How did you find us…me?”

   “Julia,” Debra said. “When you asked for your computer? She had an electronic transmitter installed, so she could find the computer’s location through the GPS system.”

   I shook my head and laughed, “Even those I thought I could still trust. Am I under arrest?” I asked as I opened the drawer next to my hip while sipping from the bottle.

   “No.” Danni said.

   “Well,” I said. “I feel so much better hearing you say that.” I removed the Glock pistol from the drawer and placed it on the counter next to my hip, “It case you missed it, that’s called, sarcasm.”

   Debra looked away and then back as she said, “Dan, for god’s sake.”

   “No, you don’t get to use that tone with me. You lost that privilege a long time ago when you wouldn’t even come and hear my side of things. I got sold down the river by people I thought I could trust and they didn’t even come to wave goodbye.” I took another drink from the bottle.

   Danni indicated the bottle and asked, “Are you going to offer Debra, and I, a taste of that?”

   “No.”

   Debra said, “Daniel, please, just sit with us and talk, okay?”

   “Why?”

   “So, we can explain what happened, why we acted the way we did.”

   “No explanation is required, you made a choice, live with it.” I took another sip from the bottle. I was going to have to stop that sipping, it was playing hell with my stomach. Debra’s eyes were already red and so was her nose, I decided she was on the verge of starting to cry. Good.

   Danni stood up and said, “Daniel, if you need someone to blame, then blame me. Debra never doubted your innocence. She kept telling me you wouldn’t have done what the Feds said you did, but that damn blue shit got hold of me and I couldn’t shake it. I know you understand what I’m talking about; when you are saying things, but another part of your mind is screaming at you and saying no, no, no! You explained it to me yourself, before I ever got contaminated.”

   She started walking towards me and I held up the palm of my hand to her, “Don’t, I don’t want either of you near me until I know what the hell you want from me. Do the two of you have any idea what I felt like knowing neither of you would even come and see me before they took me away?”

   Debra started breaking down, “Yes! I know how I would feel if you turned your back to me, the way you are right this moment. It tore your heart out, I know it did! But we didn’t know they were taking you away the next morning! No one told us! No one told me! I would have come for you and I wouldn’t care how many of them I would have had to kill to get you away! I would have given my life for you, Daniel! I would have!”

   Danni started to step towards me again and I said, “If you take one more step…”

   “You don’t want my scent to cloud your judgement, okay, but before we go any further, please try to understand, it was not Debra’s fault. Send me away if you have to, I’ll go, I don’t want to, but if that’s what you need, I will.”

   “No!” Debra said. “It’s us, it’s always been us! The three of us! It was always meant to be!”

   “Was it?” I asked. “Just the three of us? I told Stacey that I loved her, I told her I still loved the two of you, but I loved her too. I wanted to bring her into our family if I found out you wanted me back. The only way I would come back was if she came with me. What would you have said?” They both stared at me silently and finally I sort of laughed, “Yeah,” I waved Danni to the table and said, “Sit down.” After she did, I walked forward and placed the rum on the table, “Glasses are in the cupboard. If you’re here in the morning, maybe we can talk some more, you have kind of got me curious about how you rationalize what you want.” I glanced around and said as I pointed, “There’s another bedroom back there by the front door. The bed has clean sheets on it.” I pointed up to the loft and said, “I’ll be up there, alone,” and walked away.

 

   It was an unpleasant dream, but I can’t remember what it actually was. I was slowly waking up when I heard Danni’s voice, “Oh, my god!”

   I opened my eyes and saw Debra and Danni staring at mine and Stacey’s bed. Both of them had expressions of shock and dismay. I didn’t look, I already knew what it looked like. The four pieces of rope I had cut from Stacey’s wrists and ankles were still attached to the corners of the bed frame. The stack of pillows they had placed under her hips, and the stain, where they had cut her throat when they finished with her.

   I struggled up from the floor to a sitting position and leaned against the wall. “Interesting decor, isn’t it?” I rubbed my eyes and said, “Is there any of that rum left, or did the two of you finish it off last night?”

   “Daniel,” Danni said. “Why have you left it like this?”

   “Every time I try to do something with it…” I faded out.

   Debra said, “I’ll take care of this, Danni, see what there is for breakfast; I doubt he’s been eating. Daniel, when was the last time you ate?”

   “Is there rum left, or not?” I struggled up from the floor and leaned against the wall as my head started spinning.

   “Christ!” Danni said as she grabbed me and pushed a shoulder under my arm, “Debbie! Help me hold him up!”

   Her scent, oh, god, her scent, I was enveloped by it as I shook my head and pushed her back, “Stop it! I told you to stay away from me, god damn it!” She let go, stepped away and naturally, I stumbled sideways, tripped over my own feet and landed, hard, back on the floor. Humiliation.

   I looked up at her and said, “I guess you enjoyed the hell out of that, didn’t you?”

   “Not really, I guess at the moment I’m not feeling much of anything. What I think is, we need the other guy to pull your shit together.”

   “Danni?!” Debra sounded shocked by Danni’s tone.

   “Yeah?” I said. “Well, you are officially out of luck. I haven’t seen or heard from him since the day the two of you left me to rot in that holding room, so, if that’s who you came for, what you consider a better me, he’s checked out; I guess you can be on your way.”

   “Maybe,” Danni said. “Why don’t you come find us when you finally decide to man up.”

   Debra gasped as Danni started down the stairs from the loft and started to follow her, “Danni? What are you doing? He needs us, he’s just confused and grieving. We need to…”

   At the bottom of the stairs, Danni stopped and looked back up at us as she said, “Look at him, he’s a shadow of himself. He’s pathetic, he couldn’t protect Stacey and…”

   “YOU FUCKING BITCH!” I screamed at her as I stormed down the stairs and grabbed the front of her blouse as I drew back my fist to punch her face.

   “GO AHEAD! HIT ME! IT’S WHAT YOU WANT! JUST LIKE ALL THE REST OF THEM! DO IT! DO IT!” I wanted to, so bad, but I lowered my fist and realized Debra had hold of the cocked arm and was crying. I released the hold I had of Danni’s blouse, and then behind her, I saw Terry silhouetted by the morning sun shining through the open front door.

   “Hello, Terry.” I turned and walked past Danni and into the kitchen where I spotted the bottle of rum on the table. I picked it up and took a long drink before I walked out the back door and headed to Stacey’s grave.

   I was there for quite a while before Danni walked up beside me and knelt by the rock I was sitting on. “I was trying to drag you out of that horrible place you were. I hoped if I could get the other guy to come out… I went too far, I know it, I’m sorry, Daniel.”

   I shrugged, looked at the bottle between my feet and tapped it with the toe of my boot. “That’s becoming a problem; I need to stop it I guess.” I inhaled through my nose and immersed myself in her scent. “God, you smell so good.” My eyes started to burn and I choked up, but I steadied myself and said as I pointed at Stacey’s headstone, “You were right though, I couldn’t protect her, I wasn’t here when she needed me, but she killed four of those fuckers before they took her down.” In my peripheral vision, I saw her wave her hand to Debra and Terry and then place the same hand on my forearm. “I checked around and saw where they cornered her in the garden; she put up a hell of a fight. Then they took her inside.” I tried to continue, cleared my throat and said, “I found her upstairs, tied face down. I cut her loose and wrapped her in a clean sheet and…It doesn’t matter, I have a lot of very good memories about her and I together.” Tears started to leak out of my eyes and I started to cry, “Danni, I miss her so bad.” I couldn’t talk anymore, I just cried.

   Terry softly said, “Finally, he’s been holding all that back for too long.”

   Debra knelt down and put her arms around me as she said, “Stace was wonderful, she was smart, beautiful, deadly, and loyal. If I couldn’t have you, I would have wanted someone like her to.” Her scent curled around me and comforted me. “We’ll go back to Asylum and gather the forces we need and then we’ll track down the fuckers that did this. We’ll hunt them to the ends of the earth and lay waste to everything and everyone that gets in our way.”

    “You’re too late,” Terry said. “Dan already did it.”

   Danni looked up and said, “What?”

   “There was a self-proclaimed militia in Cliff that was running what was really nothing more than a protection racket. They were the ones that killed Stacey.”

   Debra asked, “A militia? How many were there?”

  “Almost sixty. Stacey killed four, the people in Cliff say they dug fifty-two bodies out of the burned remains of the gymnasium. There were more, but the people in Cliff said about ten or so new guys had left the day before. I guess Dan set fire to the place and shot the ones that tried to get out, the rest died from smoke inhalation, or burned to death.”

   I looked around, but the rum was gone, somewhere, so I stood up and said, “I’m hungry,” as I started walking back to the house.

   Behind me, I heard Danni say, “He killed over fifty people, by his self?” I kept walking and when I reached the house, I entered the kitchen and started poking thru the fridge for something, anything, to eat. The rum I had drank earlier was burning my stomach and I was in danger of upchucking; I finally settled on moldy toast. I cut two slices from the last loaf Stacey had baked and dropped them in our toaster. When they popped up, I spread some of Terry’s, grandmother’s butter on them and started eating. After I finished the toast, I stood up and went back to the fridge and started looking for something else; when was the last time I ate? I couldn’t remember.

   After a short while, the three of them entered the kitchen and Debra asked, “Daniel, what would you like me to fix for you?”

   “I was thinking about making some instant mashed potatoes and then frying them into patties. Maybe add some bacon bits or something. I’m not sure. Busted down gravy sounds good, but I know you’re not real excited about it. Like I said, I’m not sure.” I was rambling.

   “Why don’t you sit down and I’ll throw it together, okay?” She started opening cabinets and looking for what she needed.

   I mumbled, “Alright,” then sat down.

   “Dan,” Terry said.

   “Yeah?”

   “Do you remember what I told you about Buckhorn?”

   “Buckhorn? I, I guess not. What about it?”

   “The people out here armed up and we drove to Cliff. I sort of figured we’d find you dead somewhere, but when we reached Cliff the school gymnasium was a smoking ruin and the people around there were having a pretty good time celebrating. Mister Morales got up in the bed of a pickup and gave a pretty good speech about how our neighbors in Buckhorn were in trouble and we needed to arm up and chase the assholes out of there as well. I guess everyone was feeling really supercharged and that’s what they did. We killed a bunch of the Buckhorn militia guys and the rest bailed out and headed deeper into Arizona. Mister Morales gave another speech and now both towns are working together to make sure the same thing doesn’t happen again.”

   I nodded and said, “Good for them.”

   “What are they going to do?” Danni asked.

   “They want to create their own militia and maybe even some form of Sheriff’s Department, but I was wondering if maybe Asylum might be able to send us some advisors, or something?” He looked hopeful.

   Debra said, “We used to do that all the time until the Feds came, now not so much, but we want to start helping people out again. You folks are local, so I’m sure if you came and requested assistance, the General would help and Felicia Ortiz would be willing to make some agreements on trade with the people out here.”

   “Well,” Terry said. “If someone goes to speak with your leaders, it won’t be me.”

   “Why not?” Debra asked.

   “Because,” I said. “Walter Pix beat the hell out of him the last time he was there.”

   “Why?” Danni asked.

   Terry shrugged and said, “I guess I was smiling too big at Julia Ortiz.”

   “Oh,” Danni said. “I wonder…”

   “What?” I asked.

   Danni started looking pissed and said, “Julia showed up with some unexplained bruises a while back, and she was a little evasive about how she got them.”

   “You think Walter…”

   “I don’t know, but I’m going to try and find out.” Danni was looking incensed.

   “So, why are the two of you here?” I asked.

   Danni softly said, “We came to get the children’s father back.”

   “If the children’s father goes back, he gets arrested,” I said.

   “No, when Julia gave the General what Terry brought her, it ignited a firestorm. Packer went ballistic and took the information to Felicia. Felicia told Packer she wanted the Feds out of Asylum immediately and he kicked all of them out. They claimed they were duped just as we were, but Packer wasn’t buying it. Even after that, Julia didn’t tell him she could find you; she was hoping Terry would come again, so she could get word to you. Daniel, he wants to bring you back.”

   “He doesn’t really believe I’d be willing to return, does he?”

   “No, he doesn’t, but he wants to give you the option. He wanted Stacey back too, but…”

   I sat there for quite a while as I thought things through, when I finally started noticing things around me again, there was a plate of fried potato patties covered with Busted Down Gravy sitting in front of me. I dug in and wiped it out.

   “Terry needs a job,” I said.

   Danni asked, “Okay, but what can he do?” She looked at Terry.

   I said, “He found the proof I was innocent within minutes of looking at the shit that had been posted about me.”

   “He found something that Julia couldn’t find after weeks and weeks?” Debra raised her eyebrows and gave him an approving look.

   Terry started turning red and said, “I think she was looking for complicated, she should have started with the simplest and then moved on to complicated. She’s really good though! It’s just, a lot of people automatically go for complicated explanations when the simplest is usually the answer.”

   Debra smiled at me and said, “Occam’s razor?”

   I nodded, but didn’t say anything. I knew what she was doing, she was trying to tie in our past life together and make it seem worth trying to renew; I wasn’t ready to go there, not yet, maybe never.

   “So,” Terry said. “Do the two of you know Dan’s wife back in Asylum?” Debra and Danni both turned and looked at me as Terry continued, “I wonder what she will think when she finds out Dan was innocent and she bought in to a campaign of misinformation and lies. What I’m interested in finding out is, why did the people that slandered him think it was so important to screw Dan over?” He looked at me as he said, “You’re really a good guy, why screw someone that’s a good guy?”

   Danni kept looking at me as she said, “His wife didn’t buy into it, she tried to convince Daniel’s other wife that he wasn’t guilty, but she wasn’t able to overcome the rage she felt and now here we are, wondering where we’re going from here.”

   “Okay, I’m getting confused,” Terry said. He looked back at me and asked, “You were divorced from your first wife, I assume your second wife believed in you and the first didn’t, but then you escaped and Stacey became your wife?” He paused and looked back and forth between the two women before the realization sunk in, “Oh,” he started turning red with embarrassment, “Uh, which one of you is Dan’s current wife?”

   They both said at the same time, “I am.” Then Debra added, “We both are, the three of us are married to one another.” She looked back at me and said, “We also have two children that miss their father.”

   “Try to imagine,” I said. “The chances of them ever seeing their father again if Stacey hadn’t freed him from the Feds.”

   Danni sighed and said, “Daniel, I have already said, Debra supported you even when I couldn’t. If me gone, is what you need, then I am.”

   I looked at Debra and asked, “When you gave Stacey the keys to my truck, what did you tell her?”

   Danni interrupted, “I told Debbie I was going to burn your truck and trailer, that’s why she wanted Packer to have the keys.”

   “Debra?” I asked.

   She didn’t answer, she sat staring at her hands as she twisted her fingers. Finally, she said, “Danni was so hurt and angry, I wanted to calm her down. I knew if I could get her to listen, she would realize that what they said about you couldn’t be true. She would understand it was the contaminant and not you.”

   “And I did, Daniel. Once I started coming down from the rage, I started realizing that you would never do what they said. They tried to tell us it was the other guy that…” She stopped and looked at Terry who was sitting quietly trying to figure out what was happening.

   I looked at him also and said, “Terry, I’m going to make a trip to Asylum, do you still want to investigate the possibility of working there, with Julia Ortiz?”

   “Yeah, if her boyfriend won’t beat the crap out of me again.” Pix definitely made an impression on him.

   “Okay, I’m going to make some plans; are you free tomorrow morning?”

   He nodded and said, “Sure, Asylum might be a good place for my grandparents and the job sounds really interesting.”

   “Alright,” I said. “Why don’t you head on home and tell your grandparents you will be gone for a couple of days and then come back this is evening? No, wait, come back day after tomorrow and we’ll go.”

   He nodded and replied, “Okay, I’ll see you then.” He lowered his head to Danni and Debra and then left, leaving the three of us staring at each other.

   Debra, who was still sitting at the table said, “Does this mean…”

   “It means,” I cut her off. “Terry needs a job and Asylum needs someone that can do what he does.” I left the kitchen and stepped outside where I grabbed a shovel and started turning the soil of the garden again. At some time in the past, the whole place had been cleared of rocks and the soil was soft and deep. I was hoping to get some seeds from Mister Morales and if I could find some potatoes, I wanted to plant them also. I was sure the soil could grow them; of course, I knew nothing about gardening, I guess what I was really thinking was, I hoped I could grow a garden.

   Danni walked out beside me with a shovel and after watching what I was doing, she started working at the soil also. “You’re going to be sore this evening,” I said.

   She didn’t respond to my statement, but instead said, “What I said, about Debbie believing in you, that was the truth.” She kept turning the soil as she spoke. “When the Feds were telling the officers and NCOs about the evidence, they had about you, Debbie and I, both, said it was bullshit. Then, when they brought up the other guy and talked about how he could do things without you knowing, that he, and you were responsible for Dan and the others, I guess I went a bit of the rails. Everything they said made sense, you know?”

   I kept digging and didn’t look at her.

   “Debra needs you so bad, Daniel. She cries constantly, she, Daniel, are you listening to me?”

   I glanced at her and nodded.

   “Good, because this is so important. You are her world, you and the kids. What I said before, I’ll leave and you won’t ever have to look at me again, if that’s what you want, but don’t blame her for my weakness.”

   “It was the contaminant,” I said. “You’re not to blame I suppose.” I turned another shovel of dirt and said, “I’m just tired, all my life I’ve had to deal with disappointment. Then the two people I trusted the most, the ones who knew me better than anyone… it doesn’t matter, I made a decision when I finished burying Stacey; I’m not going to allow it to happen again.”

   She stopped digging and asked, “What do you mean?”

   “I mean, I’m not setting myself up for more heartache, life is a journey through a world of pain, I’m done with that, I refuse to participate. If it’s not interesting to some degree, I’m not playing.”

   “You said you were going back, you told Terry you would give him a job at Intelligence, I don’t understand.”

   “I didn’t say, I, would give him a job, but I would recommend him for a job.”

   “Debbie and I, are we some of the heartache you want to avoid?” Her eyes were turning red and moist.

   “Pretty much.”

   I kept digging as she walked away.