ASYLUM: Chapter 20

Chapter 20

   I realized immediately that we were both unreasonably angry, but in my anger, I refused to listen to my own reason and logic. I simply sat back down and started going through the computer with a vengeance. To hell with it, if she wants to go party? Good for her, I had more important things to do. Four hours later, I had it all. I knew where the railcars were and I knew they had never been accessed by the Denver Enclave. Packer was going to be a happy camper.

   I left the table, shaved and then showered. I looked through my clothing and wondered, what do you wear to a ball? I didn’t have anything that could be considered formal wear, so I picked out a nice shirt, slacks, and a pair of loafers with a matching belt. It would have to do. I walked out of the apartment and realized, I had no idea where this so-called Ball, was being held. I could only think of one place though, the Banquet Hall in Phase Four. I set out at a fast walk full of excitement. I could spend the evening with my wife and give Packer some well-deserved good news; I was elated.

   The elation didn’t last very long.

    I entered the Banquet Hall and the place was crowded and the music was loud. I started to work my way through the crowd looking for Debra, but there was no way I was going to find her just wandering around. So, I used the utility corridor and accessed the workers’ catwalk so I could look down over the crowded floor. I finally located her as she was leaving the area where everyone was dancing.

   She was wearing a bright red dress I had never seen before with matching high heels that looked stunning on her. Her hair was down and unbraided and her makeup was perfection; she was easily the most beautiful woman on the floor. She was also walking arm in arm with a Marine wearing his dress blues. Yeah, arm in arm, and she was obviously enjoying his company. The dress was low cut in front and back and as they weaved through the crowd, the Marine kept the palm of his hand on her bare back as he stroked it up and down. She seemed to be enjoying his physical attention. I watched until they returned to a table where a small group of Marines and Airmen sat and they joined the group at the table. As I watched, the Marine kept his hand on her bare skin and I remembered the things I had noticed her do the first night we met; she was doing the same things now, for him.

   I began to simmer, to boil, and I started back the way I had come on the catwalk. Returning to the main floor, I began to weave my way through the crowd until I reached their table where I stopped and stared at her until one of the Airmen noticed my expression.

   “Hey, asshole, do you have a problem?”

   Debra glanced at him and then followed his glare until she set eyes on me, she paled.

   “No,” I said as I stared at her a moment longer. “No problem at all, you fellows have a fun evening, looks like you found yourselves a keeper.”

   Debra stood up and said, “Daniel, it’s not what you think…”

   The Marine beside her stood up and asked, “So, who the fuck is this guy?” As he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her tightly to him. She attempted to push him away, but he pulled her tighter to him.

   “Me?” I said. “I’m no one. I guess I’m just another guy passing through.”

   “Yeah?” He said, “I don’t think you’re passing through fast enough, I suggest you pick up the pace.”

   He really shouldn’t have said that. “I suggest you go fuck yourself.” He released his hold on Debra and started around the table as I said to myself, “You want him?”

   “Hell, yes!”

   “Have fun,” I replied.

   I, he, just stood there until the Marine was close enough, then I, he, stepped forward and delivered a vicious elbow strike to the Marine’s temple causing the man to stagger to the side. Then I, he, did the same thing he always does, he jammed two fingers up the Marine’s nostrils and clamped his thumb under the man’s chin. The man immediately started back pedaling and leaning back as he tried to grasp my, his, wrist and pull his hand away. He slammed the man’s head onto the tabletop between two Airmen and then slammed it again as the two Airmen rose and began to pummel him/me with their fists. He pulled the unconscious man back up, slammed him down again, and then released him as he turned on the Airmen. In the background, he could hear Debra screaming my name and telling me to stop, but he didn’t. First one of the Airmen went down, and then the second. Another Marine joined the fray and he went down in an unconscious heap. Finally, the only person left standing was Debra as she grabbed his upper arms and shouted for him to stop.

   “Daniel! Stop it, now!”

   “Daniel’s not here, he gave it to me, and you? Don’t come home, you’re not welcome there right now.” He turned and walked away as a crowd began to form around where the brawl had started and ended. Debra followed as she clung to his, my arm.

   “You don’t understand! Let me explain! Daniel!”

   “Up to you,” he said to me.

   “I’m done with it,” I replied as I jerked my arm free from Debra’s grasp and kept walking. In front of me, I could see Dan and Danni rushing towards me through the crowd. I weaved my way along another path and finally out the doors of the Banquet Hall. As I was walking away, I realized I was dripping blood on my shirt. Wiping here and there, I discovered there was a cut on my left cheek and my nose was bleeding as well. I couldn’t even remember being hit.

   I turned towards Phase Two and my apartment as behind me I heard a shouted, “Daniel! Wait up! It’s me, Stacy!” I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth.

   “Now is not a good time, Stace.” I glanced at her and was surprised by how beautiful she looked. I, like every man I know, have always thought Stacey was extremely attractive and like Debra, she never wore makeup. Tonight, she was, and like Debra the sight could be breath taking under the right circumstances. This was not the right circumstance.

   “I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not what was happening, I promise!” she was walking as fast as she could to stay beside me as she talked. “It’s not what you think, what was going on in there, I swear it!”

   I started to slow down, but then I heard Debra’s angry shout from behind, “Dan! Stop!”

   I sped back up as Stacy tried unsuccessfully to hold onto my arm. Once again, the old, yeah, but. Yeah, she was interested for a while, but then…fuck it.

   Stacy was practically running beside me, “Daniel! Stop! Please, you don’t understand what was happening!”

   I shrugged her off again, “You didn’t see how she was with them; you didn’t see how she was letting them touch her; you didn’t…ah fuck it! Get away from me!” I pushed Stacy away and continued to walk as fast as I could, but I was not going to run!

   Daniel Smith ran up beside me and grabbed the sleeve of my shirt, “STOP, GOD DAMN IT!” He shouted.

   I turned on him and lifting him off the ground, I slammed him into the concrete wall, “DON’T FUCKING TOUCH HIM!” The anger that had been on his face dissipated and was replaced with fear.

   Suddenly, Debra was squeezing between us as she stood up straight between Dan and I, and looked into my eyes, “Daniel,” she said calmly. “It was not what you think, you let that shit get hold of you; the contaminant, remember? You are not yourself; you don’t understand what was happening, please try to calm down. You have to, Honey, please. Calm down, Hon, calm down, take a deep breath, calm down, for me, please?”

   “For you?” He said through clenched teeth. “He thought, he knew you. Let me tell you what, I, will do for you, I’m going to walk away, for you. You are going to stay here, or go back to your party, for you. There’s some Airmen and Marines back that way with broken wings, go fix them up…for you.”

   “Daniel, you don’t mean that, it’s that shit inside of you, please, don’t…”

   I dropped Smith and turned away to resume my walk. Over my shoulder, I said, “Don’t follow me; I am having a hard time keeping him in check and right now, you do not want to talk with him.” And I was, he and I were slipping in and out of control.

   She didn’t follow me and when I got to our apartment, my apartment, who am I kidding, her apartment, all I wanted was out. Debra was everyone’s favorite; everyone loved her. Me? I was tolerated as a favor to the golden one. I was so angry; I couldn’t remember walking to the apartment. Once inside, I started gathering my gear and stacking it by the door. Once I was done with that, I started searching for the keys to my truck, the one John Cameron had left me, but I couldn’t remember where I had put them after the last time I had test started it. My anger began to intensify.

   I heard the front doorknob rattle as someone tried to open the door, but I had locked it when I entered. Then I heard a key inserted into the lock. The doors have the same manual lock you see in hotels and motels; the loop of metal that can be flipped over and keep the door from being opened. I flipped it over as the door was opening and went back to searching for the keys.

   “Daniel? Daniel, please, open the door, you have to let me in.” The manual lock allows the door to be opened an inch or so, but no more than that; she was speaking through the gap. “Remember how I reacted when I saw the picture of you and Sara? I should have come to you and asked you about it; we promised each other we would always do that, so we wouldn’t make the same mistake again. Remember? We need to talk, Daniel, we promised each other we would.” She was silent for a moment, and then said, “It’s that damn blue shit, Daniel, it’s messing with your head; you know it is, please, let me in.”

   I kept looking for the keys.

   “Daniel, you have to try, Honey, come on. Try to remember what we feel for each other. Please let me explain?”

    I stepped away from the drawer I was searching through and slammed the door completely closed and locked it again. I went back to looking for the keys. The door was quickly pushed open to the manual lock again and someone else started talking.

   “Daniel, it’s Jerry Packer, Debra was not fooling around with those men…”

   The phone on the wall started ringing insistently, and finally I picked it up, “What!”

   “Daniel, it’s Stella, listen to me. You know how I feel about you, so I’m not going to hand you a bunch of bull shit; I would love to see you and your wife go your separate ways and I plan to help that along a little bit because you deserve the truth. She is probably talking a blue streak right now and trying to convince you what you saw was not what you saw, so here’s a little ammunition for you…”

   The door pounded against the manual lock again and Packer bellowed, “Tarn! Open this fucking door, right now!”

   Into the phone I said, “Go on, I’m listening.”

   “Ask her how the strap holding the front of her dress closed was broken and now she has it pinned together. Ask her if she enjoyed her little tryst in the projection room with one of those Air Force guys. She was looking pretty flushed when she stepped out.”

   “Dan!” Packer again. “The explanation is complicated, but Debra was following my orders this evening; let us in and we can explain what was going on!”

   Into the phone I said, “Anything else, Stella?”

   “I know you must have seen the way she was dancing with those assholes, I thought she was going to screw all of them right there on the dance floor. Anyway, just keep in mind who told you the truth and remember, I’m available when you need someone on your side.”

   “Goodbye, Stella,” I hung up the phone and started searching through the next drawer. No keys there either. Shit! Where were the god damned keys! Then I remembered, the last time we had started the truck and checked its fluids we had made lov…screwed, afterwards. She found them on the bed and dropped them into her nightstand. I walked quickly to the bedroom and bingo! I retrieved the keys.

   I went to the dining table and picked up the final notes I had printed out. After searching a little more, I located a file folder and put the notes inside of it for Packer; he was going to be interested in what was in there. Another quick walk-through of the apartment and I decided there was nothing else I needed. I had plenty of extra clothes in the truck and, oh, yeah. Going to where my bullpup carbine was, I quickly flipped up the release levers of both the weapon’s light and the laser attachments and deposited them on the table. Then, using my multi-tool, I cut through the paracord that secured the Aircrewman’s knife to my Flick and placed it next to the light and laser. Searching through the possibles pouch on my FLC, I removed a small sewing kit and placed it in my shirt pocket. I shrugged my MOLLE ruck on, picked up my ALICE Pack with sustainment belt attached and then my bullpup. I used the muzzle break of the carbine to flip aside the manual door lock and pulled the door open. I was greeted by a group of people crowding around the front of the door.

   Debra was the first to speak, “Daniel? What are you doing?”

   “I have nothing to say to you.” I turned to Packer and said, “In Debra’s apartment, on her dining table, is the location of the ammunition you asked me to find and as a bonus, I also included the locations of six additional ZPG Enclaves. Step aside, please.”

   “What?” Was all Packer said.

   Debra moved closer and placed her hands on my chest, “Daniel, what are you doing? Where are you going?”

   I let him take over as he said, “Danny, already said, he has nothing to say to you,” and then to Packer, “He asked you, politely, to step aside. I’m not as polite as Dan is. Step…the fuck aside…now.”

   Packer frowned and said, “What the hell?”

   Debra turned and started pushing Packer and the others back, “Move back, please, everyone.”

   “Debra? What the hell is going on?” Packer appeared confused.

   As I, we, walked past, I, he, reached into our shirt pocket and then held out the sewing kit to Debra, “This is for you. That’s a really nice dress you have there; may I suggest instead of sewing that strap back in place, try a button. It should prove beneficial the next time you take one of your Air Force buddies into a projection room. Oh, and he’s leaving his laptop, I guess so you can see for yourself, he thought he had no need for a porn stash.” Then we started walking away.

   “Wha…what?” She stammered. “The projection room? How did you know about…Stella!” She shouted from behind me. “That fucking Stella told you, didn’t she!” She ran past me and stood directly in my way as she punched my chest with the palms of both hands trying to stop me. “Well, Hell! She didn’t waste any time did she! You stupid Fuck! I want to talk to Daniel, NOW! Major Packer told me to take that son-of-a-bitch in there, so Dan and Danni could take him prisoner, you asshole!” Then she pulled back and delivered a brutal slap to my face. “My dress got torn while we were taking him down because Packer wanted him alive for interrogation, you god damned bastard!” She suddenly stopped and placed her hands over her mouth before saying, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to call you that, really, I’m sorry!”

   My vision had begun to blur with the slap to the face, and then the bastard comment, I, we, took a deep breath as we started to shake. “You struck me, you fucking struck him. No matter how angry he would get with you, I never, ever, considered hitting you, never. Bastard? We’ve heard it before, but just like the rest of it, we never expected it from you. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.” I stepped to the side and started walking past her, but she once again ran past me and then blocked my progress.

   “Did you hear what Major Packer said? I wasn’t fooling around with those guys! I wasn’t! I did it for the good of the community! And that includes you, you asshole!”

   “Maybe you weren’t, but you sure loved the attention, didn’t you? I saw the way you responded when his hands were on you, I saw you press your tits against his arm! You were having fun playing Mata Hari and you were just about as good at being secretive as she was, but then again, maybe getting discovered at your bullshit is what you wanted. Piss me off, I leave, and you get to be poor little Dedicated Debbie, everyone’s abused sweetheart. Who’s next on your list? Get out of my way!”

   “No!”

   Danni stepped up beside Debra and softly said, “Debbie, give him a chance to think about it; give him some space.”

   “No! He loves me, no one will ever love me the way he does, and no one will ever love him the way I do! Say it, Daniel! Say it!” I tried to step around her, but once again she got in front of me, “God damn, Daniel, say it!”

   Danni grab her arm and tried to pull her away, “Debra! Stop pushing! Stop it! You’re pushing too hard! If you make him too angry…”

   “He won’t hurt me! It’s not in him to hurt me!” She looked at me as she started to cry, “Say it, Daniel, you love me, say it!”

   I lowered my head and whispered into her ear, “I do love you, why do you think I’m hurting so bad? Why do you think I feel so betrayed? You did it for the benefit of the community? Why do you think I spent hours, days, and weeks with my face glued to a laptop screen trying to find out the information we needed to survive, as a community? I’ve been tortured, shot and blown-up, all for the community, but your sacrifice for the community was so much harder; you had to suffer through sexual titillation. Yeah, I can see how that must have been really hard on you.”

   Then Packer spoke up, “This should be Gilly talking to you, Dan, but she’s not here, so it’s up to me to put my foot in it.” He turned to Danni and said, “I want Debra out of the picture for a while; take her to their apartment.” Then he said to Debra, “You’re not getting anywhere, let someone else give it a try.”

   I started to walk away, but he grabbed my arm with a surprising amount of strength, “No way, you’re going to listen to me and then if you want to leave, be my guest; no one will try to stop you, but you will, listen to me. Am I clear?”

   “Yes, Sir, but I suggest you hurry.”

   He sighed as he watched Danni lead Debra away, “Okay, that’s going to take off some of the tension, let’s get started. Gilly and Felicia started planning the Spring Ball a month ago, and Gilly suggested inviting representatives from Holloman and Fort Bliss as a sort of public relations thing. Bliss declined, but Holloman accepted our offer and said they would send a small group of officers and enlisted personnel to represent them. I asked them to notify me when they left and when to expect them. When the personnel arrived, I was surprised there were no officers in the detachment they sent, so I called and asked Holloman’s XO what was up. He told me he had asked for volunteers and then had to choose from the men who wanted to come. He also sent three enlisted females along with six males. The total was nine personnel, six men, two of which were officers, one major, one lieutenant, two enlisted Airmen, and two Marine noncoms. The three females were all Air Force medical personnel, and all were noncommissioned officers.”

   “Debra would be complaining of ‘mansplaining’ right about now.”

   “What? Oh, for Christ sake, just shut up and listen to me, alright?”

   “I’m waiting with bated breath, Major.”

   He sighed heavily and said, “Five men, supposedly from Holloman arrived, four short of what Holloman sent, and no officers. I explained that to Holloman’s XO and he said they had lost communication with the detachment three days before. He asked me to describe a Marine Staff Sargent named, Gifford, which I did. The man who arrived was not the same Gifford that was sent. The XO asked us to play along and see if we could discover what had happened to the real personnel sent, and that’s what we were doing with Debra’s assistance. Originally, Danni was going to play the part Debra did, but one of the fake Airmen took an instant interest in Debra the first time he saw her and asked to be introduced. Debra, didn’t want to do it! Did you hear me? She thought from the first time she met him he was a first-class slimeball and did not want to have anything to do with the whole thing! Are you hearing me?”

   I shifted uncomfortably and nodded.

   “Good, because you jumped to a really bad conclusion, Dan. What the fuck! What are you thinking? That woman loves you without any reservations; damned if I know why. You need to swallow your pride and get in there and do whatever you need to, to get back in her good graces. Am I clear?”

   “As a bell, Major, clear as a bell.” He didn’t see what I saw, he didn’t know what I knew about how people communicate.

   “Daniel, I’m not the Major right now; I’m your friend, Jerry, and I’m trying to make sure something really good doesn’t get lost. The only reason she agreed to do, what she did tonight, was as a favor to me, please, Kid, don’t fuck this up. Go talk to her, listen to her, let her explain; will you do that?”

   I thought about it for a long moment and then asked, “After talking to her, I’m free to leave, right?”

   “Daniel, you’re free to leave now, no one will try to force you to stay, but you will never find another woman like her, not for you.”

   “I’ll listen to her, but I’m not making any promises, because right now, this moment? I don’t want another woman like her.”

   He shook his head and then said, “Don’t go into this thinking that way; go in there and listen to her with an open mind. I know you love her, give her the chance to prove she loves you, unconditionally. Will you do that? Please?”

   “I’ll listen, other than that, again, no promises.”

   He took a deep breath and released it, “I guess I can’t ask for more than that.” He shook his head and added, “Gillian warned me it was a bad idea, but…” He drifted off.

   I stood there and stared at him for a moment and then turned and walked back to the door of the apartment where I dropped both of my packs and the FLC outside by the door and then walked in. Debra stood up quickly from where she had been sitting beside Danni on the couch and began wringing her hands, “Will you listen to me now? Will you let me explain?”

   Danni, from where she was sitting, asked me, “Do you want me and Daniel to stay? We can corroborate whatever Debbie tells you.”

   I looked at Danni and said, “I’m sure you can, and will.”

   “Hold on there, Daniel,” Danni said. “If you think I, or Dan, would lie to protect Debra when she has done something wrong to you…”

   “I’m really not in the mood for protestations of friendship, Danni. I promised the Major I would listen to Debra, that’s what I’m here for.”

   Debra touched Danni’s arm and said, “It’s okay, if he listens to me, everything will be fine.”

   “Yeah?” Danni responded. “What about the other guy? The one that takes over when he gets pissed? What about him?”

   With a shocked expression, Debra said, “Danni?!”

   I laughed and said, “Don’t worry, Danni, I’ve put him in lockdown mode; I’m here to listen.” Inside I began to smolder again and I could feel him pushing against the barriers.

   Danni looked at Debra and said, “Dan and I will be right outside if you need us, okay?”

   I moved past smoldering.

   With an exasperated tone, Debra said, “Just go, Danni!”

   Danni reluctantly walked through the open door and exited the apartment closing the door behind her, I could see several of our, her friends, waiting. I glanced at Debra and said, “That was enlightening.”

   “Daniel…”

   “That was a legitimate and very personal concern of mine. I trusted you completely when I told you about him and now, I find out you used it as a topic for one of your gossip round tables. How many of your girlfriends know about him? How many of your battle buddies, huh? Do the words, discretion, or trust, mean anything to you? I’m learning a lot about you, and our relationship this evening.”

   “It’s not like that, Daniel, it isn’t, girlfriends confide in one another when we need help, when we are trying to figure out something that worries us. I only told…”

   I held up a finger as I pulled a tab of notepaper and a pen across the table and sat down. At the top of the sheet, I wrote ‘pros’ and ‘cons.’ Under pros, I wrote, ‘I love her.’ Under cons, I wrote, ‘she violated the trust I had in her.’ ‘She is excited by the touch of other men.’ ‘She dresses in a provocative manner when she is not with me.’ ‘She becomes sexually excited when other men touch her in a provocative manner.’ ‘She wants me to be more sexually knowledgeable in ways to please her.’ I hesitated and then wrote the same thing under ‘pros.’

   “What are you doing?” She asked.

   “It’s an exercise one of the child psychologists suggested when I was under treatment as a kid. It helps me to organize my thoughts when I’m upset, stressed, or just need to see how things balance out.”

   “Did you know I could read things when they are upside down?”

   I smiled as I looked up at her frown, “Something new, every day. Thanks for that little tidbit, but I didn’t intend for this to be a secret and keep it from you, in fact, I was going to go over it with you in detail when you were done, womansplaining.”

   “That’s an unkind thing to say.”

   “Really? Just for the sake of curiosity, how does the term, womansplaining, measure up with, shall we say, bastard?” I raised both of my hands above the table top and shook my left hand, “Womansplaining,” I shook the right hand, “Bastard.” I raised the left hand above the right, “Womansplaining,” I lowered the right, “Bastard.” I raised the left and said, “Womansplaining,” and then I slammed the right onto the table and growled, “Bastard!”

   She jumped when my hand slapped the table, “I said I was sorry, it just slipped out because I was so angry.”

   “In order for it to slip out of your mouth, it’s got to be spinning around in your head somewhere.”

   “No, I mean, yes, but not about you, never you! It’s about me!”

   I stared at her and then said, “What are you talking about?”

   “Remember I told you? My dad was German and my mom was French-Canadian? Remember I said my dad was pale, with red hair, a red beard, and blue eyes? Remember I said my mom was really pale with blonde hair and blue eyes? Remember?”

   “Yes.”

   “How do people who look like they did, have a child that looks like me?”

   “Recessive genes, I guess, where are you going with this?” I asked.

   “I went to Sara and asked if she could do a genetic test and find out where my folks came from. She did, and my mom was from the Quebec region of Canada, but my dad was from the area of Mexico around Mexico City.”

   “So?”

   “My dad, whose ancestors came from Germany, wasn’t my dad! My mom had a fling with some guy from Mexico and got pregnant with me. I’m a bastard, Daniel, that’s why the word has been ‘spinning around in my head!’”

   I stared at her for a moment and finally asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

   “I don’t know for sure, I guess I was afraid you might not like it; that I was part Mexican.”

   “Have you ever heard me say anything derogatory about Hispanics?”

   “No.”

   I applied the pen to paper and made a notation under cons, ‘she doesn’t trust me, she thinks I may be racist.’

   “No! I don’t! I don’t think you’re a racist! God, I’m getting confused, this isn’t what I wanted to talk about. I want to convince you I didn’t cheat on you; I didn’t even consider it. You are the only man I want!”

   “That’s a really sexy dress you’re wearing, the red really accentuates the tone of your skin.”

   She got a puzzled look and said, “I bought it when you and I, Daniel and Danni, were in California; I bought it for you. I told Danni someday I was going to surprise you with it and blow your socks off.”

“But you never did. I like the fabric, it’s so sheer, so thin, almost like the material they make lingerie out of.”

   “It is, but not transparent, so I could wear it in public.”

   “But you never did, at least not for me. You wore it to supposedly entrap some bad guys; you wore it for them. You know what I like about it?” She shook her head. “You know how much I like your extroverted nipples? How hard they get when you’re aroused?” She frowned. “I was up on the catwalk looking for you when I saw you walking off the dancefloor with your Marine. You were a good hundred, maybe a hundred and fifty feet away, and I could see your nipples pressing on the fabric; from that far away. Your skin was glowing with perspiration from the dance, the dress was clinging to every curve of your body and you were hanging on to his arm, pressing your breasts against him.”

   With a quiver in her voice, she said, “That’s not true, it isn’t.”

   “When I came down from the catwalk and came to your table, you didn’t even notice my presence, you only had eyes for your Marine.”

   In a slightly harsh tone, she said, “He wasn’t, my, Marine.”

   “You keep asking me to remember, so you remember this. You know how I’m always telling you how much I love your scent? That it’s intoxicating, especially when you’re aroused?”

   “Stop it, Daniel.”

   “When I reached the table where you were sitting? I could smell you all the way across the table,” she turned and started walking away. “I guess I can’t blame those guys, they were like a pack of dogs around a bitch in heat.”

   “YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” She screamed as she turned, pulled off one of her stiletto high heels and threw it at my head. The spike of the heel struck me just above my right eye and then she was on me with the second shoe, flailing at me as she delivered hammer blows to my upraised arms.

   “Is this what you did to all your exes when you were caught whoring around?!” I shouted at her.

   “I FUCKING HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!”

   I lunged up from the chair and pinned her arms to the wall of the hallway and she tried to knee me in the groin, but I twisted sideways, which allowed her to spin away from the wall and hit me with the spike of the shoe again, luckily it was a glancing blow that gouged a furrow above my left ear. She reached back to wind up for another blow and I released her wrist as I stared into her amber eyes, she stopped as she looked back at me and I guess she saw something that caused her to hesitate. Finally, I said, “Go ahead, finish it, because I can’t live without you, I don’t want to live without you, but how can we go on after I saw, what I saw?”

   She dropped the shoe and grabbed two handfuls of my hair, “How many times do I have to tell you! Was I aroused? YES, but not for them! Dancing has always turned me on, I can’t help it! I can’t help becoming aroused, but I can decide, who gets to fuck me! You are…the only… man…for me! You! And only you!” Then she was crushing my lips with her own. One of us, dragged the other to the bedroom and we had another session of extremely hard, rough sex and when we were finished, I was shocked by the amount of blood splattered on the pillows and Debra’s face and torso.

   “Honey,” she said. “You’re still bleeding.”

   “Yeah, I guess so.” I said.

   “We never got that first aid kit for the apartment we talked about,” she whispered.

   “No, but my IFAK is on my FLC.”

   “Where is it?”

   We both sat up and looked around, “Uh, it’s outside by the front door.” Damn it, I should have brought it inside.

   “Oh, shit.” Debra’s eyes grew large and round.

   “Yeah.”

   She stood up, “I’ll get a towel and a wash cloth.”

   “Okay.”

   Debra hurried to the bathroom and then returned. As she was applying the wet rag to my forehead, I could see her hands begin to tremble and then shake, “Oh, god, I’m so sorry, Honey.” The shaking got worse and finally she said, “We need the IFAK and someone to help me, I…I…I can’t do this, I can’t. I’m sorry. I can’t.”

   “Get the kit and I’ll take care of it. It’s not that bad, Babe, it’s just a head wound and they bleed a lot. Go get it for me, okay?”

   She nodded and said, “Maybe everyone left?”

   “Good luck with that.”

   She put on her house robe and walked out of the room; I put on my own and went to the kitchen; the light was better there.

   Then I heard Danni screech, “What the fuck? Did he do that to you! I’m going to beat the fuck out of him right now!”

   “No! No, Danni! It’s not my blood! Danni! It’s his.”

   Then I heard Packer’s voice, “Uh, is he alive? That’s a lot of blood.”

   “Of course, he is,” Debra said. “But I guess I’m a little shaken and I can’t seem to get my hands to do what needs doing. Danni, could you help me dress his injuries? Please?”

   Danni snickered and said, “There better not be any private parts that need treatment, cause I’m not going there.”

   Debra sighed loud enough for me to overhear her, “Danni, please?”

   I sat at the kitchen table as first Debra came in with my FLC, and then Danni, followed by Packer, Dan, and surprisingly, Gilly. Gilly looked at me and then Debra, “If he’s the one bleeding and you’re not, why are you the one with the most blood on you?”

   Danni started laughing and said, “Gravity.” Then everyone but Debra and Gilly started laughing.

   Gilly frowned and said, “Gravity? I don’t understand, what do you mean gra…oh, oh my. Never mind.”

   Packer rolled his eyes, “Gillian? Sometimes I wonder about you. Remember that fight we had the first month we were married?”

   Gilly placed her hands on her hips and said, “Jerry? Be very careful what you say.”

   “Uh, yeah, okay,” he answered. He glanced around the room and said, “Well, it looks like everything is returning to normal, sort of, so unless you need a few pints of blood, we’re heading home.”

   “Danni,” Gilly said. “Do you need some help with that?”

   Danni chuckled and said, “No, it’s not as bad as it looks.” She turned my head and looked at the cut above my ear. “Ow, that’s going to leave a scar.” She poked at it a bit and finally I pulled away from her.

   “What the hell, Danni?”

   “I’m still a little pissed you sent her out to get your booboo kit looking the way she did. The adrenaline really got pumping and I still have the shakes.”

   “Yeah? Well why don’t you take a break and calm down some.”

    “Me? I should calm down? Says the ass everyone has been trying to get to see reason all the way from the Spring Ball? On top of everything else, you blew our covert operation; Debra had those idiots eating out of her hand until you came along and…”

   “Danni?” Debra said. “I don’t think that’s been settled yet, please don’t throw gasoline on the fire.”

   “There’s nothing to settle,” she said as she pressed a pad of gauze on the cut above my ear, a lot harder than was necessary. “He either gets his head out of his ass, or…”

   From where he was sitting on the couch, Dan said, “Danni, knock it off!”

   “What did you say?”

   “I said, knock it off. Why do you think I forbade you from doing what Debra was doing? Because I knew how I would feel if one of those shits put his hands on you. Why do you think I said it was a bad idea for Debra to do it? For the same reason! Guys don’t just turn that jealousy shit off and on. When it’s on, it burns brightly! When it’s off, it smolders, waiting to explode! So, knock it off!”

   You could tell, Danni wasn’t used to Dan shutting her down, “But…”

   “Please, Danni,” Debra said. “You are one of the best friends a girl could have; you always want to protect me from harm, but not now, please? There’s unresolved issues that have to be addressed and Daniel and I are still trying to work our way through them.”

   Danni stared at her for a moment and then at me before I said, “Danni, I love you like a sister, but there’s shit I have to deal with. Stuff I have to come to terms with; if I can’t do that, if I can’t…I won’t drag Debra down with me.”

   Debra was instantly on her knees beside my chair, “Don’t say that, don’t ever say that.”

   “Debra,” I said. “You’re still covered with blood, why don’t you go take a shower. Danni? Could you help her wash her hair? It’s starting to get all matted up.”

   “Yeah,” she answered. “Sure,” she turned to Dan and said, “Finish this up for me?”

   “Yeah, no problem.” He got up from the couch and took Danni’s place cleaning the wound over my ear. We were both quiet until we heard the bathroom door close and then he said softly, “For shit’s sake, Bro, what did she hit you with?”

   “Those sexy red stilettos.”

   “Holy crap! I guess those things can be lethal in the proper hands. Guaranteed, I’m never getting Danni a pair of those.”

   I actually laughed, really laughed, “But the make-up sex is to die for.”

   “The, to die for, part? That makes me a little nervous.”

   “I deserved it, I went too far trying to hurt her, but…listen, I’m still feeling a little raw, you know? I’m also feeling ashamed of myself; I’ve never intentionally hurt someone like that before.”

   “Last week, Danni and I got into it pretty bad, and we ended up nose to nose screaming at each other. Then she started saying, ‘Hit me, go ahead, I know you want to, you all do!’ It kind of stunned me and I told her I would never, ever hit her, no matter what she said, or did to me.”

   “What did she do?”

   “She started crying and said she was sorry for being such a bitch.”

   “There’s a story there,” I said.

   “There always is.” He finished bandaging the cut above my ear and removed the temporary gauze Danni had stuck to the puncture above my eye. “Damn,” he said. “That was awfully close to your eye.”

   “Yeah, it was.”

   He chuckled as he said, “Maybe try dodging next time.”

   “There won’t be a next time;” I said. “Either we work this out, or…”

   “Or what?”

   “It wouldn’t be fair to her if I stuck around; she should have a chance to find someone…else, I guess.”

   “I have news for you, Brother, there is no one else, not for Debbie. You’re the one.”

   I didn’t say anything for a minute, but finally, “She…she seemed to really enjoy…those guys…touching her. I could see how aroused she was and…”

   “What? What the hell are you talking about?” He wasn’t angry, he was genuinely bewildered.

   “All you had to do was watch her, the nonverbal interest clues, the obvious sexual arousal when she walked off the dance floor…”

    “Whoa, whoa, whoa, Danny Boy. Before she went to meet those asshats at their table? The three of us discussed how she could lead them on and one of things we came up with was the use of nonverbal clues, that you yourself, told us about. Debbie didn’t want to do it, but Packer talked her into it. Sorry about that. And as far as being turned on? No way man, at least not by those guys. I’ve seen Debbie dance before, Daniel, she loves it and gets excited by doing it. How could the two of you be together this long and you not know how she is about dancing?”

   “We’ve never danced together, we talked about it once and I told her I didn’t know how and…”

   “And what?”

   “That I had no interest in learning.”

   “Wow, you put your foot in it and didn’t even know it. Geez, Daniel, that woman literally loves to dance. Danni says she’s actually seen Debra look like she was about to have a…holy shit! Dan, when did you see Debra the first time at the Ball?”

   I groaned internally and finally said, “When she was walking off the dance floor with the Marine imposter. It really wasn’t him that was turning her on, it was the dancing?”

   “Judging from what I know about her, yeah, it was the dancing. I’ve seen her get like that just dancing by herself, or with other women, but you know what? I’ve never seen her leave with a guy after she danced with them.”

   “Really?” I thought of the times I had seen her dancing in our apartment by herself. She always seemed to enjoy it so much. There was a song she would dance to that even I felt like dancing to, though I had never done it, I just watched her as she moved to the music. She was incredibly sexy when she did. It was from an old European rock band named, what was it? Def Leopard, and the song was called Hysteria. “Are you done with me, Dan?”

   “I still need to treat those cuts on your arms.”

   “Spray some of that antiseptic on them and then wrap them up, I think I need a beautiful woman to teach me how to dance.”

   Dan leaned down where I could see his face and said, “Now that sounds like a damn good plan.” He quickly finished up and then knocked softly on the bathroom door. When Danni cracked the door open, I could still hear the shower running.

   “Danni,” he said. “We’re leaving.”

   “What? Why?”

   He looked back at me and then smiled at Danni, “Daniel says he’s really bad at dancing, but he wants Debra to give him a lesson.”

   Danni slipped through the door, closed it, and walked straight to me as she slid her arms around me, “Did you really mean it when you said you thought of me as your sister?”

   “Yes, and I feel the same way about Dan; he’s my brother.”

   “Good, because here’s some sisterly advice, number one, don’t let Debbie get close to Stella. Number two, don’t let Debbie get close to Stella, and number three? No half measures, Daniel, that girl loves to dance.”

   “I don’t know for sure how to keep Stella off Debra’s radar, but I think I can work on number three.”

   She raised up and kissed my cheek, “Good boy, now go make your woman happy.” She turned and looked at Dan, “Did you have something to do with the dance lessons idea?”

   “Ehh, maybe a little.”

   I snorted and said, “He grabbed the ring in my nose and made me stare at the idea until it finally occurred to me.”

   “Well then, guess who’s getting a treat tonight,” she said sexily.

   Dan walked quickly to the front door and opened it, “Let’s go, come on! Times a wasting!”

   Danni joined him and as Dan closed the door, she said, “Slow down, Danny, you’ll wear yourself out before we even get close to the bed.”

   I locked the door and then opened Debra’s music folder and started flipping through it until I found the CD I was looking for, a long out-of-date group called Def Leopard. I was never into music all that much, but when Debra moved in with me, she brought a high-end CD player with her. I inserted the disc, selected a song called, Hysteria, and pressed Play as I turned up the volume. Then I simply stood in front of the player and watched the sound display. When the song finished, I pressed the replay button and started it over. I had never paid attention to the lyrics before, now I did, and I could begin to understand Debra’s feelings about it. I turned the volume higher.

   I felt her hands come to rest on my waist and she whispered as I felt her body press gently against my back, “Honey?”

   I turned to face her and realized all she was wearing was a white bath towel wrapped around her torso. I pulled her close to me as I spoke into her neck and ear, “I know you like this song. I don’t know how to dance, but it always makes me want to move with it. I’m beginning to understand your love of dancing and how it affects you in a sort of, I don’t know, primal, emotional, physical level. I want to be part of that. Do you think you can teach me, to dance, with you?”

   She leaned back from me and I could see her lower lip trembling as she said, “I know you don’t like to dance, and that’s okay, as long as we are together, I can dance inside of me. I don’t need…”

   “No, I need you to freely express yourself, your desires, your love for me. Do you think you can teach me, to dance with you, to this song?”

   She quickly nodded and then kissed me. “Yes, but does this mean…”

   “I’m not going anywhere, not without you. I can’t live without you, Debra, I don’t want to live without you. No one will ever love me the way you do, and no one will ever love you, the way I do.”

   She literally collapsed as she began to cry. I scooped her up and carried her to the Marlow chair, sat down with her on my lap and held her tightly to me. “You and me, always.”

   “No, not yet, there’s things about me you don’t know, things I never wanted you to know.”

   “If you don’t want me to know, then…”

   “I have to know you’re in love with the real me, not who you think I am. I’ve done things in the past that you probably won’t like, and I didn’t want you to know because I need you, I wanted you to think I was the kind of girl you wanted. There’s been times in the past when I thought I was in love, but I didn’t know what love really was. Now I do, and it’s tearing my heart out.”

   “Love isn’t supposed to hurt, Debra, and I don’t want you hurting because you love me. What can I do to ease your worries?”

   “Listen to me while I tell you the truth?”

   “Debra…”

   “Please?” I slid my fingertips across her bare shoulders and she shivered, “Don’t, please don’t, you know how your touch drives me to distraction.” She slipped off my lap and said, “I’ll be back in a moment.” She left the room for several minutes and then returned having dressed in sweats and an over-sized tee-shirt. From the kitchen, she brought a chair and placed it a good ten feet from me before sitting down and wiping her eyes again.

   “Debra?”

   “First,” she said. “let me ask you a question.”

   I nodded.

   “When I was a kid, when did I leave home?”

   “On your eighteenth birthday when you joined the Air Force.”

   “That was what I wanted you to believe; I left my parents’ home on my fifteenth birthday and lived in a sleeping bag under a bridge.”

   “Uh,” I didn’t know what to say, so I went silent.

   “I was at a public park using the sink in the women’s restroom to bathe when I was offered my first job. I mean, I used to babysit a lot, but my first official job where I earned a paycheck. Two women walked in and saw me washing my body; they asked if I was homeless and I said, yes. They said I was too pretty to be homeless and they could help me get a job if I wanted one.”

   “Debra…”

   “Wait, let me finish.” She shifted uncomfortably and then started again, “I asked how much did it pay and they said more than I was making. I agreed they were probably right and asked what the pay was again. The one doing the talking said I could make fifty dollars for a four-hour shift, but I would get tips also. So, I asked, doing what? But first she asked me how old I was. I figured they wouldn’t want to hire a minor, so I said I was eighteen. She knew I wasn’t really eighteen, but she looked at her friend and said, “What do you think?” The other girl said, “With the right make-up, she can pass for the legal age.” They took me home with them and introduced me to their boss. He owned a nude bar, what some guys referred to as a titty bar. He hired me, they got me a fake ID and I started dancing and waiting tables nude. All I had to do was pay Chellie, that was her name, twenty per cent of whatever I made. I was hungry, and I didn’t have very much self-esteem, so yeah, I jumped at the chance.”

   “Debra…”

   She dismissed me with a wave of her hand and continued, “I became really popular and Henry, the owner of the bar, kept giving me more hours to work. It seemed I could bring in some pretty good crowds. He started paying me $150 a night and tips; the tips made the money he paid me seem like chump change. There were nights when I brought home over a thousand just in tips.”

   “Debra…”

   “Not yet, Daniel, let me finish.” She wiped at her eyes and I started to get up from the chair, “Please,” she said. “Let me finish. Then Chellie told me, men were asking if I was available for private parties, away from the bar. She told me she could charge up to $200 per man at the parties and maybe even more later. I said I made more than that just dancing and waiting tables, but then she said, “Debbie, two hundred per man, if there are ten men, that’s two thousand dollars for a few hours of dancing in someone’s home, or a hotel room, and you can charge a minimum. Ten men, or the price of ten men.” I asked if all I had to do was dance, and she said it cost more for anything else. I said I wasn’t interested in anything else.”

   “Debra, please…”

   “I lost count of how many times I was raped, and not by just one guy, never only one guy.”

   “Debra, stop it.”

   “Going to the cops was useless, I was a prostitute, so it didn’t matter.”

   “Stop.”

   “I tried to quit the whole thing, but Chellie said if I did there would be people who wouldn’t like it. I stopped anyway and Chellie’s boyfriend beat me to a pulp. I guess he liked the extra money I was giving to Chellie to be my manager.”

   “Please, stop,” I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. “Stop.”

   “I started going to school on-line. I needed two-and-a-half years of classes, I earned my High School Diploma in less than eight months and then began taking college classes. I started taking Criminal Science and then met an Air Force recruiter at one of the private parties. They were actually one of the best groups I danced for. When I turned eighteen, I got away from Chellie and joined the Air Force. When you called me a whore? You weren’t far from the truth, Daniel, I’ve been gang-raped, I’ve been forced to have sex with other women, there was a guy that paid the whole minimum just so he could share me with his dog; that bitch in heat comment cut me to my very core and I don’t blame you if you want to throw me out. Chellie beat me with a broom stick to make me do it, but I’m still damaged goods.” I levitated out of the Marlow chair and rushed across the room at her as she scrambled out of the chair and retreated into the kitchen with her arms extended out in front of her to deflect the blows she expected. Then she brought her fists up and dropped into a fighting stance. As I closed in on her, she dropped her hands and turned her face away, “Go ahead, do it, do it, do it!”

   I grabbed her shoulders and shook her, “Stop it! Now!” I pulled her to me and said, “Debra, I was angry, and hurt, I lashed out at you because I wanted you to hurt too! But I never would have said those things if I would have known, I wouldn’t have hurt you like that. The past, is the past, damn it! And I’m not walking away from the only woman I have ever loved! Please, forgive me, I know I’ve been a total ass, but, but…”

   Her body began to relax from her expectation of being beaten and finally, she looked at me, “No! No, no, no, don’t you cry! Don’t! Please don’t! I’m the one that deserved what happened to me! It was always my fault! And then there was you, and you were so perfect, and, and…”

   “Your fault? How could it be your fault you were raped? How could it be your fault you were forced to do things you didn’t want to do? You were threatened, you were beaten, but you escaped and made a better life for yourself. You beat them! You won! And now, if you will forgive me, maybe I can have a chance to be a winner too!”

   “What?”

   “Debra, I was wrong! I jumped to a conclusion without establishing the facts first. Just like you said, we agreed we would never do something like that again; we would always talk it out. I failed you, again. I try not to, but I always seem to screw everything up. I should have gone to the Ball with you like you wanted me to, but I thought if I could find out what we needed to know about that ammunition it would make you happy and maybe things would get better between us. I was wrong, so wrong, and now we are in the mess we’re in, again, because of me.”

   “Daniel, I just told you what a terrible person I’ve been in the past and you’re asking me, to forgive you?”

   “You weren’t a terrible person, Debra, you saw a way out of a bad situation and you grabbed at it. It snowballed into something you never saw coming and you’ve been carrying a load of guilt that wasn’t yours to carry. For god’s sake, you were just a kid! Let it go! Be the loving woman I know you are and let me prove I’m worth the pain I’ve caused you.”

   “Daniel, there’s more, there’s more I need to tell you.”

   “No, there’s not, it isn’t going to change how I feel about you; it’s not going to make me leave you, it doesn’t matter anymore. The only thing that matters, is now, and tomorrow, and the next day.”

   “Let me finish, and if after you hear what I say, you still want me, then I’ll be the happiest woman in the world. If you decide it’s more than you want to accept, then I’ll leave and give you your freedom.”

   “Debra? What can I say to make you understand…”

    “I should have told you all of this before we were married. It’s been weighing down on me ever since because you are so straight up and narrow. You’re naïve, Daniel, you walk around thinking everyone is as good hearted as you are. Well, here’s the truth, everything I was forced to do, Daniel, no matter how disgusting, or perverse, no matter how much I resented being forced to do it, it always made me have an orgasm. Everything, Daniel, every time. I was disgusted with myself then and when I think about it now, I’m still disgusted with what I am.”

   I simply stood there in front of her for a moment and stared into her amber eyes. As I watched, they began to fill with tears and then began to leak down her cheeks. Her expression didn’t change though, she wore a demeanor of calm, she was stoic; she fully expected me to walk away.

   Eventually, I cleared my throat and said, “If I ask you some questions, will you answer me truthfully?”

   There was a slight hesitation and then she softly said, “Yes.”

   “No matter how much you think it might hurt me?”

   “I don’t want to hurt you.”

   “Yes, or no.”

   “Yes.”

   “Since the first time we got together, how many men, or women, have you had sexual relations with?”

   “From the first time I met you, in this room, none, no one, only you. I can’t help the orgasms I had, but I don’t go looking for sex with other people,” and then she added, “Or anything else.”

   “Why?”

   “Because you are all I need, you are all I want and I love you with my entire being.”

   “For the rest of your life?”

   “Yes.”

   “So, you love me, you want to have our children?”

   “Definitely, yes, and yes.”

    “Will you always be faithful to me?”

   “Yes.”

   “Last question, why are we having this stupid fricking discussion? Because I want to go to bed with my wife and make love to her.”

   She cocked her head to one side and murmured, “Oh yeah?”

   “Yeah, absolutely, yes.”

   “What did you have in mind?”

   “Well, what we did earlier was awfully good, maybe a little less blood would be cool.”

   She gave me her famous sultry chuckle, “Umm, maybe we should just see where it goes; I’m kind of leaning towards an evening of soft kisses and gentle lovemaking. Another bout like the last one and I’m going to wake up really sore.”

   I nodded, “Okay by me, but first I have two requests.”

   She stepped forward and pressed her pelvis into mine, “Anything.”

   “First, put that red dress and shoes back on.”

   “Really? I kind of figured you might want it gone, so I sort of threw it in the trash can outback.”

   “Get it back out and get that sexy thing on.”

   “Okay, and the second request?”

   “I want a dance lesson.”