ASYLUM: Chapter 21

Chapter 21

   I’m still not real keen on dancing; I always feel sort of clumsy and off-beat. I noticed early on when we practiced dancing, Debra started wearing her combat boots with the hard fiber toe protection; I guess she couldn’t handle her toes being stepped on so many times. She even moves sexy when she dances in boots, geez. She says I’m much better than I was and I’m improving a lot, but there’s still the boots, so…

   The good thing is, things between Debra and I are better than they’ve ever been. I mean, they were good before, but now, after she told me the things she did, about her early life, and she realized I fully accepted who she was forced to be then and who she is now, it’s like a huge weight has been lifted from her shoulders. I thought things were good between us before, and they were, but now? God above, I love that woman.

   Packer made a special trip to the apartment to let me know what was happening with the fake Holloman guys. There were originally five of them, three Airmen and two Marines, though there were only four when I approached Debra’s table the night of the Ball. Debra danced with all five of them, several times, during the evening and the one Airman who had asked to be introduced to Debra was the first one they took prisoner. Debra did take him to the projection room where Dan and Danni were waiting. The asshole had actually tried to force his hand inside her dress as they entered and that was the way her dress was damaged. Dan and Danni, with a great deal of enthusiastic help from Debra, beat him into submission and cuffed him before taking him to a room where he was detained.

   After the brawl, the Marine who was the last to dance with Debra was taken to the infirmary because he kept blacking out. He died before the next morning from a brain hemorrhage. I guess I hit him a little too hard, or too many times on the tabletop; ask me if I care. Packer notified Holloman and they sent a helo to take them into custody. After being interrogated, the fake servicemen led a group of Air Security guys to where they had disposed of the bodies of the men and women who were supposed to attend the dance. The real Holloman people had fought back when they were ambushed and the five men who arrived at our facility were the survivors of a group of men that numbered fifteen. After the Airmen, who took them to the location, saw how the bodies had been desecrated, the four survivors were killed while trying to escape, at least that’s the Airmen’s’ story and they’re sticking to it. Again, ask me if I care.

   The Major sent Lieutenant Bellows, yeah, he commands 2^nd Platoon now, with a squad to Denver, but they ended up in a fire fight with some troops wearing something he called Lizard camouflage. Our guys inflicted heavy casualties on the opposing force, but we took some hits also. Luckily it was minor wounds. They are planning another operation to go after that ammo again. Unfortunately, Packer was kicking around the idea of sending me on the next trip to Denver. I don’t want to go; I feel like Debra and I still need some time to work through some of our shit. Our shit? No, my shit. Sometimes, I have nightmares about Debra dancing with other men and when Debra wakes me up, I have to go for a walk to cool down. At first, she let me go alone, but then I realized she would follow me to make sure I was okay.

   The last time she followed me, I decided to let her know, I knew, what she was doing.

   I turned a corner, and then slipped quickly around another and waited for her to appear. I heard her as she rounded the first turn, “Shit! Damn it, Daniel, where did you go?”

   I stepped back around the corner and said, “Right here, if you’re wondering where I’m going on these walks, why not walk with me?”

   “Oh, uh, hi, Honey, uh…”

   “Trying to discover who I’m slipping off to meet?”

   “No! Absolutely not! I mean…” Her face turned a dark red as she squirmed, “I mean, well, yes, and no, I mean…”

   I was already calmed down from the nightmare, so I smiled and reached for her hand, “I’m playing with you, Babe, but is there really some doubts in your mind? If there is, I’ll try and hang out at the apartment instead of walking off the emotions.”

   “No, I don’t suspect your slipping off to meet someone, but Nadia said she overheard someone mention you walking the facility at night and that fucking Stella overheard the gossip and started asking some rather pointed questions about where you walked and when.”

   “When is she going to give that crap a rest?” I asked.

   “Daniel, you would be the catch of the year for any woman, hell, as strict as I’ve always been about another woman’s man, I wonder if I could resist the temptation.”

   “You wouldn’t do it; I know that much about you.”

   We walked hand-in-hand as I steered us back towards our apartment. She finally realized where I was leading her and said, “Why don’t I go home and you continue your walk?”

   “No, I was done anyway.”

   “Daniel, what are the bad dreams about?” She looked up at me with sincere concern. “Everything is good between us, right?”

   “Yes, everything is good, it’s just sometimes…”

   “Sometimes, what?” She reached across and started stroking the arm I was using to hold her hand, “It’s me isn’t it? You’re having bad dreams about me, about my past. It must be, because when you wake up you get really short with me, like you’re angry.”

      I walked along silently as I tried to formulate a way to express myself that wouldn’t hurt her feelings.

   “Honey?”

   I reached up and grasped the hand she was stroking my arm with and then kissed the inside of her wrist before I said, “I love you, Babe, I truly do, but I can’t control what I dream about.”

   “It is my past, isn’t it?”

   “No, it’s not, so please don’t worry about that. I keep having dreams about the Spring Ball, that guy you were dancing with.”

   “You know what was really happening then; I know you do.”

   “Of course, I do, but they’re dreams I can’t control and they seem so real. Sometimes I wake up really out of sorts and I want to confront you about what you did in the nightmare. I realize I was dreaming, but the feelings are so raw and painful…” I trailed off in shame.

   “What is it I do? We can fix this; I know we can.”

   “Debra, they are dreams, how can you fix that?”

   “I’ve had a lot of experience with nightmares, Daniel, I really have. I found out that if I talked them out and exposed them to the light, they faded away.”

   I continued to walk, but I remained silent.

   “Please, Daniel? Just try it once for me. Let it out and if you get angry while you tell it, we’ll find a way to work through it, alright? The dreams you are having are getting worse and you’re starting to lose a lot of sleep. I worry about it.”

   I nodded and blew out a breath, “Okay, but believe me when I say, I know this is not about you, it’s about me, okay?”

   “Okay, but remember how much I love you, especially while you tell me.”

   I nodded again and after a moment of reflection, I began, “It always starts at the Ball. I’m trying to find you and the place is wall-to-wall people. I’m trying to push my way through the crowd, but it’s really difficult and no one wants to get out of the way. Our friends keep telling me they just saw you somewhere and I keep going the way they point, but you’re never where they say you are. I start getting angry and start shoving people as I shout your name, but the people I push just laugh at me. I hear people saying, “Don’t worry, it’s just that crybaby bastard again.”

   “Oh, Daniel, I’m sor…”

   “Don’t, Babe, I know.” I walked a little farther and resumed. “I finally find you at the table, but it’s not the men who were there before; it’s one of them, the Marine, and the rest of the people are our friends who have been pointing me in the wrong directions. When they see me, they all start laughing and all of them point in different directions and shout, ‘She went that way!’ The Marine slides his hand under your red dress and starts playing with your breast as he says, ‘You can’t make her as happy as I can.’ You laugh and squeeze his hand as you tell him to do it harder. He does and you rip the front of your dress open and another man behind you starts working on the other breast…that’s it. I usually wake up about then and all I can remember is the look of pleasure on your face, but it’s not sexual pleasure, you’re happy because you humiliated me in front of everyone.”

   “Have I ever humiliated you, Daniel?”

   “No, not really.”

   She looked at me intently for a moment, and then asked, “What do you mean, not really? Because that sounds like maybe I have and if I did, I didn’t do it on purpose.”

   “Remember the night at the Maniker’s when you took The Dick down a notch or two after he mouthed off to me?”

   “Oh, oh shit, Honey, I didn’t mean to…”

   “Forget it, Babe, he got what was coming to him and I actually got a kick out of it.” We arrived at the apartment and went inside.

   “Hon, do you ever dream about doing things like that to me? You know, humiliating me?”

   “No.”

   “That was a quick and brief answer.”

   “It was an easy answer to come up with, it’s the truth.”

   “The night of the Ball, after I, well, after I threw my shoe at you and screamed at you, I was really aroused. I know there must be something wrong with me because…”

   “There is nothing wrong with you, but why do you think so?”

   “It really hurt my feelings when you said the things you said, but it also turned me on when you did it.”

   “Really? I’m sorry I said those things and if I would have known your past I never…”

   “I know, Daniel, I know and it makes me love you more.” She looked away and said, “You know how I always tell you I would do anything for you?”

   “Yes,” I was feeling a little concerned with the direction the conversation was going.

   “There’s one thing that I really don’t want to happen, something I hope you never ask me for.”

   “Then I won’t, tell me what it is and I promise, it will never happen.”

   “You know I have nightmares sometimes too.”

   “Yes.”

   “I always feel so relieved when I wake up with your arms around me and your soothing words.”

   “I wish I could do more; I wish I could stop them for you.”

   She smiled up at me and then the smile slipped away, “I’m going to take my own advice to you; there are two different nightmares I have. The first is, we are in a fire fight and I’m trying to find you, so I can protect you, but I can’t. That one scares the shit out of me.”

   “It would me too, if I couldn’t find you.”

   “Remember you said we can’t control what we dream about? Remember that, because my other nightmare might make you think I don’t believe you love me, the way you say you do.”

   I frowned, but then nodded.

   “We’re at a party and I’m really drunk. Then all the other women are gone and you tell the men that are left that I’m going to dance for them. I start dancing as I circle around the room; the men start taking off my clothes and then…”

   “Never going to happen, Debra, never. That dream is based on the shit that happened before me.”

   “Tell me you will never share me with other men; I know you won’t, believe me, I know you won’t, but just say it.”

   “You’re mine, and only mine, and I will never ask, or order, you to have sex with another man, or men. I swear it on the love we share.” I kissed her lightly on the lips and with concern I asked, “I remember the things you said you were forced to do, all of them; is there anything else you don’t want me to ask for? Anything?”

   “No, I will, willing, do whatever you want, Daniel, and I don’t care what it is you want me to do, or what you want to do to me.”

   “Why do I feel like I just received the best gift, ever?”

   “Are you tired?” She asked as she smiled up at me.

   “Yeah, but if you have nothing better to do, maybe we could fool around a little?”

   “I was hoping you would say that! Come to bed and maybe we can explore some possibilities.”

 

   Yeah, that’s some of the ‘shit’ I need to work through. I want her to understand that nothing she told me has changed the way I feel about her. It never will. The only thing that bothers me is, I wasn’t there when she needed me. I know, it sounds stupid; I didn’t even know her then, or her circumstances, but somehow it seems like I failed her. I failed the woman I love. I hope I never do.

 

   Packer is going to send another squad to Denver; this time it will be different though. The people he is sending are not going with the primary purpose of finding the ammunition, they are going to recon the opposing forces instead. He also wants to check and see if any of the Air Force and Army bases there are still functioning. One of the bases he is most concerned about is NORAD in Cheyenne Mountain. He thinks it may be wise to know if anyone is monitoring the skies for missile attacks. I can see his point, but it raises a distressing problem. He wants the recon team to have a representative from the Air Force with them to ease contact if any can be made. There’s only one ex-Air Force member among the Rangers, yeah, Debra. He wants her to accompany the recon team. It makes sense, I know, especially after the way she connected with Holloman, but still.

    I volunteered to go, so they would have the one person most likely to find the ammo laden railcar, but Packer says I’m needed here for other things. He does want me to educate Debra on how to locate the railcar if they have a chance to look for them. She shouldn’t be going; it should be me; how can I protect her if I’m not there? I know it doesn’t make sense, hell, she’s a better Ranger than I could ever be. Banner says she’s the best tracker we have now, and Thomas believes she could have passed Scout Sniper School in the Marines if given the chance. He’s been working with her diligently to add to her skills. Several times, he has taken her out for days at a time and led her through different scenarios. They even went down to Silver City and reconned the town as if it was a war zone; which it is. The epitome of live fire training. I tried to put my foot down on that one, but Debra eagerly accepted the mission. When she came home, she said Thomas gave her the best training she had ever received in urban warfare. He is constantly bragging about her abilities and honestly? I started to get somewhat jealous of the attention he showered on her. Then Debra told me something she said hardly anyone knew about Thomas; he’s gay. I never would have believed it if Debra hadn’t told me. She says he has a friend down in Accounting that he visits two, maybe three times a week. She has met the man and she says he’s really sweet. She wants to invite the two of them to our next get-together with our friends and I said no problem.

   Her training with Thomas has added to the gear she carries all the time now. Thomas taught her how to make a ghillie drape, as Debra calls it. It’s a type of garment that has a hood and sleeves, but no front torso cover. The back is long enough to cover her down to the back of her knees, or a little higher if she is wearing a ruck. She also made a ghillie cover for her pack; she took me into the woods and demonstrated how effective the cover and drape could be and yeah, they work pretty damn well. Both Banner and Thomas told her to make herself some ‘cat’s paws’ to wear over the soles of her boots. Basically, they are just pattern cut pieces of carpeting that are tied off to your boots and hide the impressions left by the soles of your boots. As a kind of lark, together we constructed a complete set for me also. In addition, she now carries a spotting scope, note pads, ect., but that crap adds up. Debra has a saying, ounces equal pounds and pounds equal pain, so she relentlessly goes through her gear and deletes things she says she doesn’t use enough to make it worth her while to carry. With all the strenuous training, she’s lost most of her girly fat and now is sporting a six-pack belly. That’s not all, her menstruation cycle has diminished also. I’ll be glad when the training is over and she can return to a more normal life cycle; sometimes she comes home so tired, she showers and goes straight to sleep. She literally fell asleep while she was making love to me once; that will put a real damper on your ego.

  

   After she left for Denver, I couldn’t sleep for more than two or three hours at a time. I’d wake up from nightmares and walk myself tired enough to try and sleep again. I miss her terribly. Maria Esteban is feeding me again, she says Debra warned her to keep an eye on me and yeah, I haven’t been eating. Maria says I’m being disloyal to my wife’s concern for me and sits with me while I eat. It’s a good recon team though and I know they will watch out for her. Lieutenant Thomas is in command, yeah, another raise in rank like Bellows, though unofficial until they return. Danni and Dan are part of the team, as is Rick Charles as the medic. I know all of the other five as well and I know each and every one of them will try to keep her as safe as she will for them. Packer is estimating the mission to last no longer the two-and-a-half weeks. If it lasts that long, it will be the longest Debra and I have been separated, well, not counting the period of time after Gupta’s picture, but you know what I mean. I gave her one of my tee-shirts in a large ziplock bag to take with her and she left me her red dress. We danced long enough for her perspiration to dampen the material and it lays folded beside me every night.

 

   How long is this mission going to last? It’s only been a week and I’m climbing the walls.

 

   Two weeks, come on, Debra, time to come home.

 

   Three weeks, something is wrong, I can feel it.

 

   What’s left of the team is home. Out of the ten who left, only three returned. Debra wasn’t one of them.

 

   I was sleeping in the Marlow chair, the bed in our apartment just felt too big with Debra gone. I woke to the phone ringing and glanced at the wall clock; three in the morning. We were having trouble with one of the pre-action sprinkler systems and I figured once again, it was the reason someone was calling me so early in the day. I pulled myself up and answered it. “Daniel Tarn.”

   “Daniel, this is Gilly, you better come down to the Bunker.”

   “What’s going on, Gilly?”

   “Just come right away, we have news and we’re waiting for you.”

   “I’m on my way,” I said as I hung up. I had been increasingly bugging Packer for any news about the recon and Debra, and finally made him promise to notify me if he heard anything, right away, day or night. I dressed and then ran, as in ran, to the Bunker. When I exited the main thoroughfare and turned towards the Ranger Bunker, there were two armored vehicles parked outside and I remembered the Air Security guys called them Bearcats. Several Airmen were standing around, but I ran past and into the Ready Room.

   The Major was talking to Thomas and Rick Charles was sitting at one of the tables with two Airmen. Charles looked at me, and hurriedly looked away as I slowed to a walk and approached Thomas. “Lieutenant?”

   He nodded to me, but held his tongue as Packer said, “Daniel, they were ambushed again, and Debbie is missing, but don’t jump to any conclusions, okay?”

   I looked back at Thomas and said, “What happened?”

   He looked at Packer, and the Major nodded to him. “Everything was going well; we didn’t see any signs of other troops anywhere and we were even approached by some civilians who told us the Moroccans and Libyans had withdrawn from Denver. We continued the recon and then visited all of the Air Force Bases around Denver and Boulder. They were all abandoned. Finally, closing in on two-and-a-half weeks, we agreed to go to the railyard and see if we could locate the ammunition. Debbie said she was pretty sure she could find it with the directions you gave us. That’s where we were ambushed. I guess we got sloppy, I got sloppy. Once I recognized we were seriously outnumbered, I gave the signal to break contact and head for our rally point. Six of us reached the rally point and two of us were wounded. The problem was, they were waiting for us. I don’t know how they could have known where the rally point was, but they did. I lost another three killed there.”

   “Who made it back?” The words barely escaped my lips.

   “Danni, Rick, and me.”

   I glanced around the room, but didn’t see Danni anywhere. “Where’s Danni? She would have been close to Debra; I know she would have been.”

   Thomas nodded and said, “She was, her and Dan both were. Dan went down when they opened fire on us in the railyard. Debra shoved Danni down and under a boxcar before retuning fire. While she was firing at the enemy, Danni tried to pull Dan in with her, but when she saw the extent of his wounds, she stopped trying and returned fire also. It was about that time I gave the signal to break contact, but Debbie was cut-off and began to escape and evade in a different direction than the rest of us. After we successfully broke contact, we could hear weapons fire in the distance that finally subsided, but Debbie didn’t show up at the rally point. Dan, I don’t know what happened to her, I don’t.” He looked on the verge of breaking down.

   I nodded and then asked, “So you didn’t see her get hit? No one saw her go down?”

   “No, no one saw anything like that, but she was involved with a running fight against a numerically superior force, I don’t see how…the way the shooting stopped all at once…” He broke off and just shook his head slowly.

   I was silent for a moment and then woodenly asked again, “Where’s Danni?”

   Packer cleared his throat and then said, “Gilly has her in our apartment, Danni broke down.”

   I turned and started walking towards the Packer’s apartment, but then stopped and looked back at the Major, “I’m going with the rescue team, when will we be leaving?”

   “Daniel…”

   “When?”

   “At this point we have few options left to us. They were waiting for us and until I can get some sort of grip on the situation…”

   “I’m bringing my wife home, one way, or another.”

   He nodded and then said, “Danni needs a good close friend right now, let’s tend the living first, then we’ll see if…”

   I shook my head and quietly said, “You think she’s dead,” My voice broke and I choked back the emotion threatening to overwhelm me. “She’s not, not until I see her body.” I walked away and down the hall to his apartment. At the open door, I paused and then stepped inside as Gilly glanced up and then waved me forward. Danni was sitting on the edge of couch, slowly rocking back and forth as she stared at the wall across from her.

   I walked forward and kneeled in front of her, she didn’t even blink as I stared into her eyes, “Danni?”

   She finally blinked and it appeared she seemed to focus on me, “Daniel?”

   “Hey, can I hold you?”

   She gave a lethargic nod and I slid my arms around her and gently tightened the embrace I started giving her. “He went down as soon as they opened fire; he never had a chance.” I started sliding my hand up and down her back. “Debbie pushed me under a boxcar and started shooting as I tried to drag Dan under it with me.” I squeezed her again. “As I was pulling on his arm, he was hit two more times, and then I saw what had happened to him to begin with. The bullets hit him in the head and penetrated his Kevlar helmet. The Kevlar was the only thing holding his head together.” I squeezed my eyes shut as she shuddered and then she started talking faster. “I came out from beneath the boxcar and started firing my weapon at them, then Thomas gave the signal to break contact. There was so much automatic weapons fire, neither Debbie, or I, could cross the open space to join the other. Debbie finally screamed at me to go; she would meet me at the rally point. We both dropped and rolled under the two boxcars, she went north and I went south towards the others.” She got a haunted look in her eyes and said, “Daniel? I don’t know what happened to her.”

   I drew back a little and then kissed her forehead before saying, “I’m going to find out. Try and sleep, Danni, I’ll let you know.”

   She nodded and slowly lay down on the couch and closed her eyes. I stood up and looked at Gilly, “Will Jerry send a search party?”

   “Hopefully, but in this kind of a situation where we don’t know how they knew we were coming; someone told them, Daniel, it’s the only way they could have known.”

   I stood up and nodded, “You’re probably right, Jerry would be sending people into a meatgrinder. All of the planning that would be necessary, all the people who would find out, who knows who could pass on information.” I glanced around the room and finally met Gilly’s eyes, “I’m really tired, I’m going to head home, if you hear anything, will you let me know?”

   “Daniel, of course, I will.”

   I nodded and walked out the door. The closer I got to our apartment, the faster I walked. Finally, I was running. I would need spare ammo, some extra mags, food I could cache, both the ALICE and the MOLLE rucks and, oh, yeah, the keys to my truck. I had a lot to do and not much time to do it; I wanted to be gone before first light.

   Getting out of the Hole unseen is difficult to do, basically, impossible. Once I had everything, I thought I might need, I stacked it next to the back door of the apartment, and then wearing my work clothes, I walked to Facilities and took one of the crew carts. I drove it back to the service alley, parked, and then loaded the gear in the rear floorboard of the of the cart. The best way to remain unseen, is to be seen doing something people associate with what you do normally. I was on my way to work; a little earlier than normal, but the pre-action system we had been having problems with would take care of that.

   I parked next to my truck and disconnected the trailer from it, lowered the rear ramp, and started transferring my gear from the cart to the truck. As I was lifting my ALICE pack to load, I caught movement in my peripheral vision. Turning to look, I saw four shapes appear out of the darkness. I released a heavy sigh and started trying to formulate an excuse in my head for why I was, where I was. The first person I recognized was Danni. She tossed a pack in the truck and then gave me a hug.

   “Danni?”

   “I was laying on the couch feeling sorry for myself and then realized what you said before you left. Did you think I’d let you go alone?”

   “Danni, I don’t expect you to do this. In all honesty, I don’t have any real expectations of being able to find her, but I have to try.”

   “I know, but your chances of finding Debbie just went up. We’re going to have to try and figure out where she went and then try to track her if we can find any sign of her.”

   “I know, but neither one of us are trained trackers. I always wanted to take Ted’s class, but shit kept getting in the…”

   “You don’t need to be a trained tracker when you have the guy that does the training.” Ted Banner tossed a pack into the back of the truck and then stepped aside as Rich and Nadia placed their packs in beside the rest of the gear.

   “How did you guys know I was going to look for her?”

   Nadia placed a hand on my arm and said, “Danni told us, and we will not let you go alone, so if that’s what you’re thinking, forget it, right fricking now.”

   Rich put his arm around Nadia and added, “Nadia told me the whole story about when that guy Becker had her. You almost died to save her and Menendez, and, speaking of who, where is she?”

   I heard running steps in the gravel and Stacy Menendez came to a sliding stop beside us. Breathing heavily, she tossed her pack in the truck and said, “Damn, can you guys give a girl a little more time to get dressed for the party next time?”

   I started choking up and had to swallow several times before I could speak, “Guys, I didn’t expect anyone to…”

   Nadia cut me off, “Of course you didn’t, because that’s who you are. You want to be the one that helps and protects everyone else. And Debra? Hell, she’s one of the bright spots around this dreary place. You know the old saying, ‘what goes around, comes around’? Well, it’s coming around, so let’s get this show on the road.”

   I nodded and closed up the back of the truck and then unlocked the cab. The people riding in front were going to be good to go, but it was going to be crowded it the back seat. I started to climb into the driver’s seat, but Banner held me back, “Mind if I drive until sun-up?” He asked as he buckled on a helmet with night vision goggles.

   “Sounds like a plan,” I said. We all got situated with me in back on the left-hand side. Stacy was squeezed in beside me with Nadia and then Rich next to her; she squeezed my hand and smiled at me. Danni was in the passenger seat in front. Banner started the truck and began to pull away from its parking spot. I leaned forward, “Ted?” I asked as he shifted gears. “Does Sara know…”

   “No,” he cut me off. “I truly believe she isn’t involved with whoever is passing on information to our enemies.”

   “Don’t misunderstand me,” I said. “I don’t think she is either, but an inadvertent comment…”

   “I know what you mean, Dan, she’s highly intelligent, but a bit on the naive side.” He sort of snorted and added, “A lot like a guy I know, but she can’t let slip what she doesn’t know.”

   I didn’t say anything else; like Banner, I didn’t think Sara was involved, but you never know what’s going on in someone else’s head.

   There’s a slight downward slope to the road as you pass the front of the loading docks and the Ranger Bunker and as we approached it, Ted shut-off the motor and with the clutch depressed, he coasted by the entrance of the Hole. Once well past, he turned the key back on and restarted the motor as he turned onto the road that led to the highway.

   We were less than half a mile down the road when Ted suddenly said, “What the hell is that?” He let off on the gas and began to slow down, “Oh shit!”

   He was the only one wearing NVDs, and I said, “What? What is it?”

   He blew out a breath and said, “It’s the Major, he has the road blocked with the Command Cart.”

   “God damn it! Can you go around him?” I asked.

   “No, Mrs. Packer is standing in the way,” he said as he brought the truck to a stop and rolled down his window. I rolled down my own and finally saw Packer appear from the darkness and step up on the footrest to speak.

   “Take this with you,” he said as he handed Ted a metal ammo can. “It’s a satellite phone I got from the Holloman guys when they were here. It only has the one battery, so use it sparingly.” He shifted to my window and said, “The only people that know you’re on your way, are me and Gilly. Keep a low profile, avoid the major highways, and remember, these guys seem to be well-organized. In the meantime, I’ll do what I can here. If you can, bring her home, good luck my friend.” He stepped down and walked back to the Command Cart and then he and Gilly drove away towards the Hole.

   Rich finally said, “Wow, that was a surprise.”

   “Yeah,” Ted added.

   I leaned forward again and said, “Let’s go.”

 

   We stayed on the I-25 until Albuquerque, but then we shifted to side roads that took us out of our way and slowed us down, but we hoped would leave us less noticeable. I was torn between being able to get to Denver safely, so we could search for her, or getting to Denver in a hurry. As much as I wanted to get there in a hurry, we needed to give ourselves the chance to be effective when we got there.

   I found myself constantly wanting to ask Dan questions, but then I would remember he was gone. Gone, I still couldn’t say the actual word and I noticed Danni never said it either, even though she knew better than anyone. He was dead, and he wasn’t going to be there anymore when I needed him. Danni seemed, lethargic I guess, but when she was doing something, anything, she seemed more upbeat, more her normal self. I think all of us recognized it and tried to keep her engaged with what was going on around us.

   The trip to Denver was frustrating, and boring, but we finally arrived on a Friday night.

   “Okay,” I asked. “Where do we start? The Railyard?”

   It was quiet for a moment and finally Danni said, “No, we start at the Farmer’s Market.”

   “Farmer’s Market?” I asked.

   “Yeah,” Ted said. “You were asleep when Danni and I talked about it earlier. When she was here before, she discovered they have a farmer’s market where all the people with an excess of something, go to trade for what they need. We’ll stop close-by and then walk in to see if we can find some info about what’s going on. Where the military has troops deployed, numbers, et cetera. People love to gossip, we used to use the technique a lot when I was Africa.”

   “Okay,” I said, “But we’re here for Debra and if she’s smart, which she is, she’ll avoid concentrations of people.”

   “Of course, she will,” Ted said. “But people hear shit and they repeat shit. Where have they heard gun shots, where have there been concentrations of troops, where have the people seen troops in places they normally aren’t. Have personal gardens been raided on a small scale? Has clothing disappeared off laundry lines? Has a strange, unaccompanied woman been seen around? It all adds up and creates a picture; a picture we can use to our advantage.”

   “Okay,” I said, “But if you guys walk into a public market looking the way you do, won’t that raise suspicions?” Rich, Ted and Danni were all wearing their cammi uniforms. Stacy, Nadia and I, were wearing our smocks over our civilian clothes.

   “Yeah,” Danni said. “That’s why none of the three of us are going to do it. Whoever goes needs to fit in, look the part; it has to be you and either Stacy, or Nadia.”

   Stacy immediately said, “I’ll go with Daniel.”

   But Nadia admonished her, “Stacy, you’re too damn pretty, every guy you run into is going to remember you. It has to be Daniel and I. No one will remember me.”

   Rich said, “Nadia, that’s not true, I think you are very attractive.”

   Nadia looked up at him and said, “I don’t know why you think that, because I look in the mirror every day; I know what I look like. I’m grateful every time you look at me and smile, I thank my lucky stars you saw something in me that made you want me, but I’m also a realist. No one will notice me asking questions, because no one sees me.”

   Danni turned around and said to Rich, “She’s right, I think Nadia is pretty too, and I bet everyone in here would say the same, but we all know her, Nadia’s beauty is her inner self, those of us who know her don’t really recognize that what we see as beauty is that inner self. A person who has never met her won’t see what we see.”

   I looked back and forth between the two girls and realized Danni was absolutely correct, “Okay, sounds good to me. In my civvies and with my hair looking the way it does, Nadia and I should fit in pretty well. Let’s get this done.”

   Danni thought about it for a while and then started giving Ted General driving directions. She hadn’t been to the Market, but she remembered what people she had met had told her. Eventually, we did find the location and then looked for a place to park out of the way, but close enough that Nadia and I could walk to the Market the next morning.

   As usual, we took turns taking guard duty and Danni started to have a nightmare while I was awake for my turn. I rushed over and placed my hand over her mouth to muffle her cries until she woke up and locked eyes with me. She started crying and I started rocking her slowly while I held her. Ted caught my attention and motioned for me to continue as he got up and took my place in the rotation. I was gratified when the sun began to rise.

  We made our plans and prepared for the day. Finally, Nadia and I left to walk to the market and discover what we could and if we could. The whole process was enlightening. The first thing we came to know? There was a strong undercurrent of disagreement with, and outright hatred for the ruling class. The social progressives as they called themselves. We also discovered there was nothing we could buy, no matter what we offered in exchange. The only means of exchange was money that the locals referred to as Solars, or Socialist Dollars. When I asked how I might come by some, I was told the only way to gain the new money was to work for the new regime or sell products directly to them.

   I started telling people we were passing through and if there was somewhere, we could camp for a few days. Nadia and I actually received invitations to stay at people’s homes if we would tell them what we had seen in our travels, interestingly, two different people told us it might be a good idea to avoid the I-70 and I-25 Interchange. There seemed to be a lot military activity as if they were hunting for someone. After the second warning, we wound up what we were doing and headed back to the truck.

   When we arrived, the truck was already loaded and Rich ran to meet us. “Hurry up you two! We’re on the road as soon as we get in the truck!”

   “Good,” I said. “We found out there is a lot of activity around the 70 and 25 Interchange. We were told it looked like they were searching for someone, a manhunt. We should…”

   “Not our problem!” He said as he grabbed Nadia’s hand and started urging her faster. “We have to head south now, right now!” Then he smiled at me as I started to become angry. “Dan, she’s not here! Debra! She’s in Las Cruces!”

   “Wha…what?”

   “Banner turned on the Sat Phone and saw a message pending. It was from Packer; he said a ham radio operator down there picked up a weak transmission from CB channel eleven and sent a call to us. The radio call was Debra calling for help! Let’s go, Dan!”

   I started running towards where the truck was hidden, “How did she get to Las Cruces?”

   “I don’t know! But that’s where she said she was!” As we arrived at the truck, he pushed us ahead and then followed us to the open doors. We climbed in as Danni started the motor and jerkily started moving forward.

   “Is there anything more? Is she alright? Is she hurt? Where in Las Cruces?” I was talking so fast my tongue was starting to trip up.

   Banner turned around and said, “She said she was underneath the Interstate 10 overpass at Main Street on the railroad side of the overpass.”

    “They’re closer than we are, a lot closer, can we use the satellite phone and tell them to send someone?” I asked.

   Banner leaned over, picked up the phone, dialed it and waited, but there was no answer. “It says we have a signal, but there’s no answer.”

   “There’s always someone at the phone exchange, what the hell!” I racked my brain and finally said, “Okay, do you have the number for Holloman? Call them, have them call the Hole, our comms room always has some one on duty.”

   “We don’t have the number,” Banner said. “I don’t know what it is.”

   “God damn it!” I slammed my fist down on my right leg and Nadia flinched away from me.

   “Redial!” Stacy said. “Here, give it to me! There should be a log of numbers already called!” Banner handed her the phone and she began scrolling through the menu, “Here it is!” She continued to scroll through the numbers, “I’ll try this one,” She punched a number and waited, “It’s ringing.” I realized I was holding my breath, so I exhaled and sucked in air. “Hello? Yes, yes, this is an emergency call and we’re low on battery power. We are residents of the facility in Grant County, New Mexico and… yes, that’s right! One of our people who survived an ambush in Denver is stranded in Las Cruces, do you people have anyone in the Las Cruces area?” There was a long pause. “No? How long would it take someone to reach there?” Another pause and then, “That’s too long, heck we’re coming from Denver and we can get there before then. Listen, the person stranded is Debra Tarn, the woman who guided your helicopters to the battle you folks helped us with. She’s ex-Air Force and maybe you could send a helicopter?” Silence and then, “Damn it! Okay, if you get a break in the weather and get one in the air, please call this number back and let us know, please. Yes, Thank you!” She ended the call and said, “No joy, they said the nearest ground elements are going to take longer to get there than us. They have a strong weather front stalled over their air base and everything is grounded because of severe wind turbulence, it looks like it’s up to us.”

   I exhaled and slumped in the seat. Then Banner said, “Slow down to a safe speed, Danni, Debra can’t afford for us to have an accident.” He paused and then said, “Danni?”

   I felt the truck begin to slow and squeezed my eyes closed, hang in there, Babe, we’re coming.

 

   Hours stretched by and at one point I began to hyperventilate. Nadia grabbed a paper sack and held it over my mouth and nose as I tried to control my breathing with her calming voice in my ear. When we reached the outskirts of Las Cruces, I placed the muzzle of my carbine between my feet, drew back the bolt, and released it. Rich nodded and did the same as I switched the selector to safe. “When we get there,” I said. “I’ll be out the door as soon as the truck stops and go down the right side of the overpass, who wants the left side?”

   “I will,” Danni said.

   “You’re driving, Danni,” Banner said. He looked over his shoulder and said to Rich, “You got it?”

   “No,” Stacey said from where she sat next to the door. “I’ve got it.”

   Banner nodded and said, “Rich, you follow Stacey and cover her six. I’ll cover for Dan, Nadia, you’re truck security. Danni, keep the truck running and ready to bug out, okay?”

   Everyone nodded and my hands began to shake. Almost there, Babe, almost there. It was full dark, so I put my fingers over the lens and checked my weapon light, good to go. Danni kept the truck at a steady speed and then said, “Brace for a hard brake!”

   I had already removed my seatbelt; before the truck fully stopped, I was out the door and running for the edge of the overpass. To my left, I could hear Stacey’s boots pounding the concrete surface of the overpass. I vaulted over the guardrail and then slid down the embankment beside the bridge until my feet hit the wide ledge below. My slide was slowed by a body which I knocked over the edge and it tumbled down the slope until it came to rest beside the railroad tracks. I swung to my right and started forward with my carbine at high ready. Stacey appeared at the other side and started in my way, but she passed three more bodies that she tip-toed over. Debra wasn’t there, she was gone.

   “Daniel! Freeze!” Banner came up beside me and placed his hand on my shoulder, “I don’t want you to ruin any possible spoor. The dust under here is heavy and will tell us what happened.” He spoke louder and said, “Stace, look for signs.”

   “Got it.” The light on her weapon switched off and she turned on a hand held that she dropped down low so she could look for the shadows of prints. Banner did the same. They slowly worked towards each other as I watched Banner’ six. Rich was at the other end, doing the same for Stacey. They slowly advanced until they met in the middle where they crouched while Banner picked up what appeared to be empty casings. I could hear them softly speaking and then they stood up and separated as they quickly returned, Banner to me, and Stacy to Rich.

   “Ted, where is she?”

   “Not here, but I think I know where, let’s go, and I’ll explain in the truck; we’re sitting targets out here.”

   Once we were back in the truck, Danni said, “What now?”

   “Head for home,” Banner said and then turned around and looked at me. “I think you can relax, Dan, those bodies down there dressed in black? They’ve been dead for hours, and their wounds were inflicted by 5-5-6 rounds. Those guys never got close to her, but there was a shitload of prints down there. I looked them over and the first thing that jumped out at me was, several sets of boot prints were from Marine RAT boots, like yours, Debra’s and Danni’s. The rest were from Army issue boots, like I and a lot of the Rangers wear. It looks like someone was carried out of here on a stretcher, I doubt anyone who may have taken her prisoner would be so caring. I think our people came and got her, she’s probably back in the hole as we speak.”

   I nodded, but I wasn’t ready to rejoice. The weather was turning shitty and the truck was beginning to be buffeted around as we climbed the grade out of Las Cruces. The weather that was screwing with Holloman was now screwing with us.

   As the wind intensified, Danni finally pulled to a stop and said, “Anyone want to take over? I’ve about had it.”

   Banner said, “I’ve got it, why don’t you, slip in back, Stace, come up front and take shotgun.”

   Banner opened his door and stepped out as Stacey crawled forward and then Danni crawled back and sat by me as Banner re-entered the truck and got us moving again. Danni leaned against me and muttered, “Not yet, not until I know she’s home and safe.”

   I leaned down and whispered, “I know, I feel the same.”

   Her breathing became steady and I thought at first she was asleep, but when I looked down, her eyes were open and she was quietly weeping. The last few days had been filled with despair for me, I was so afraid I was losing my soul, my Debra. Danni had been right there beside me, supporting me when I would begin to close down; all the time, dying inside from her own loss. I wanted to let go and cry with her, for her loss, but not until I saw her, my Debra, not until Debra and I could together give to Danni what she needed.

   The drive was long and tense with the truck being pushed from one side and then the other. Ted’s hands gripped the wheel with a vengeance as he fought the wind. Sometimes it blew from the rear and there would be this eerie quiet as we traveled with the direction of its flow, and then it would change again and we would be pushed all the way into the oncoming traffic lane. Finally, it began to thunder, and lightning filled the sky; it felt like a forewarning of the future. What was coming next?

   Then it began to rain. A torrent fell from the sky and mixed with the flashes of lightning. Ted slowed the truck, because even with the wipers going full speed, he was having difficulty seeing the road ahead. What the hell, all I want to do is get home and see if she is truly there. The storm seemed to intensify again and I began to fear the slab sides of the truck would catch too much wind and we would be flipped over. Banner surrendered and coasted to a stop.

   “We can’t keep going like this,” he said. “We’re going to lose the truck.”

   “Yeah,” I said. “I swear I’ve felt the wheels on the right side bouncing up and down.”

   He nodded without turning around and then rested his head against the window; I think he was trying to sleep. I was stressed just riding as a passenger, I shuddered to think what he was suffering from. I settled myself and tugged Danni closer as she shivered and she turned to face my side. She draped her legs over my left leg and snuggled closer to me as she rested her head on my chest. Nadia leaned forward and looked at Danni before reaching under the bench seat and pulled out a roll of cloth. She started unrolling it and I recognized it was a thin pile blanket when she started tucking it around Danni’s shoulders, hips and legs. Looking at me, Nadia silently mouthed, “Shockey.” I nodded with agreement to her diagnosis. Danni was starting to surrender to the pain and loss and I regretted accepting her help.

   We all fell asleep as the storm buffeted the truck.

   What woke me up was the quiet. The storm was over, at least the violence was over, but it was still raining. Not as hard, but still raining. I reached forward and tapped Stacy’s shoulder and waited as she stirred awake. The sky was heavily overcast and grey, but my watch said it was approaching 6:30 am. When she raised up and glanced around, I said, “Stace, wake up Ted and see if he’s ready to continue, if not, someone else should drive us in to the Hole.”

   “Okay,” she mumbled. She started to reach for Ted, but he was already straightening up in the driver’s seat.

   “I’m good to go, damn, that was the worst storm I’ve ever been in.”

   From across the cab, Rich said, “I’m willing to bet we had some hurricane force winds last night.”

   “I lived in Florida for about fifteen years when I was growing up,” Nadia said. “And yeah, I think I would have to agree with you.”

   Ted started the truck and we resumed our journey.

   

   The road was partially washed out in a couple of places and we were crossing flowing water where it had never been before, too many times to count. We pulled to a stop in front of the Ranger Bunker at almost ten in the morning. We all exited the truck as the Major came trotting out the front doors of the Bunker and straight to me and Danni, who was clutching my left arm. As he came to a halt he smiled as Danni and I both said at the same time, “Is she here?”

   “Yes.”

   Again, we both said, “Is she alright?”

   “She will be. She’s a little beat up and dehydrated, a dislocated knee, and a broken wrist, but Doc Horne says she’ll be fine after some recuperation.”

   Gilly came out of the bunker almost as fast as Packer did. She went straight to Danni and said, “Danni, Let’s get you inside and into a hot tub; you need to rest and relax.”

   “Not yet, I need to see Debbie, I need to see her; I want to see with my own eyes that she’s safe.”

   I nodded and asked, “Where is she? The clinic?”

   Packer shook his head, “No, the little hothead demanded to go home and wait for your return.”

   “She’s alone?!” I said.

   Gilly touched my arm and said, “Of course not, Maria Esteban is taking care of her.”

   I nodded and said, “Sorry, but you know what it’s like.” I looked around and then decided I didn’t care what Morgan thought about me using the crew carts for personal use, “I’m going to go get a crew cart from Facilities.”

   “No, you’re not,” Packer said. He pointed at two carts and said, “Sargent Banner? Those are for the use of you and the team you commanded. Your gear and weapons will be delivered to your quarters. Go home and get some well-deserved rest, but tomorrow, I’m going to expect a full debriefing from you and Sargent Monroe, at Lieutenant Tarn’s residence, understood?”

   Banner said, “Yes, Sir.”

   Packer turned and took Gilly’s hand as he started to walk away, but then stopped and looked back, “Daniel, make sure you have some of that home brew ready for tomorrow afternoon, I’m bringing steaks, fresh potatoes, and corn. We’re going to have a little get together and remembrance for those we lost.”

   “Yes, Sir.” They walked away and the six of us went to the carts and I sat down in the smaller of the two. “Let’s go Danni, do the rest of you want to stop by?”

   Banner glanced at the others and then said, “Yeah, if you don’t mind?”

   “I don’t know what kind of shape she’s going to be in, but absolutely. We all went after her cause we care about her.” The other four started sitting down in the crew cart and I drove Danni and I away and home. The closer I got to home, the faster I pushed the cart; a pedestrian even shouted at me to slow down. I parked in front of the apartment and then hurried to the door, where I stopped and waited for Danni before I opened the door and walked in. Maria was at the dining table where she was leafing through one of the old magazines I kept around; as I walked in, she smiled and pointed towards the living room. I grabbed Danni’s hand and pulled her with me as I turned and looked. Debra was in a hospital bed with some sort of overhead contraption suspending her left leg and there was a cast on her right wrist with an IV inserted in the top of her left hand; she looked to be sleeping.

   Walking up on her right side, I gave her closer look. There were dark circles under her eyes and her lips were cracked and peeling. Danni walked up on her left side and with trembling hands, reached down and wrapped her hand around Debra’s fingers.

   I whispered, “Debra, Babe? Are you awake?”

   Her eyelids fluttered and then she opened them and looked at me, “Honey! You’re back!”

   I smiled, nodded, and then bent over and kissed her gently on her cracked and peeling lips, “Yeah, we’re home.” A wave of emotion swelled up and crashed down on me as I leaned in closer and breathed in her scent while I nuzzled her neck. “More importantly, you’re back. No more trips without me, I don’t think I can handle another one, okay?”

   She nodded and turned to Danni, “I was so glad when they told me you made it back here, I started to cry.”

   Danni smiled sadly and said, “Yeah, when we got to the bridge and found you gone, I almost wanted to give up, but Ted said he believed you were back here. I didn’t want to believe it until I saw you again.”

   There was a knock at the door and Maria answered it, “Oh,” she said as she looked at me and Debra. “There are more visitors.”

   “It’s okay, Maria,” I said. “Those are the other people who went with me and Danni to find Debra.”

   She stepped away from the door and smiled as everyone walked in. Nadia immediately rushed to Debra’s bedside and leaning over, gave Debra a hug. “Debbie, you can’t possibly know how happy we are to see you home and safe!”

   “Thank you, Nadia, but when I finally got back and found out all of you had gone to Denver, I was so scared something would happen to one of you and it would be my fault.”

   Banner snorted, “I believe it. You’re always blaming yourself for crap. You were in trouble and we went to try and help, but you took care of business all on your own. Now, what’s this Lieutenant Tarn stuff all about?”

   Debra actually turned red with embarrassment. “Uh, well…”

   I glanced around and then said, “Lieutenant Tarn? What are you talking about?”

   Banner laughed and said, “I thought you missed that; the Major referred to Debbie as ‘Lieutenant Tarn.’

   I snapped my eyes back at her and said, “What?”

   “Yeah, uh, he said anyone who could show the initiative that I did was deserving of a leadership role in the Rangers.” Her ears were even turning red, a bright hot red.

   “Explain, please?”

   I glanced up at Danni and she was actually smiling, an honest smile, not a fake one.

   “The Major said he was receiving so many recommendations for me to be given a leadership role, that he could see no recourse, but to go with it. What made him finally decide though was when I got back, mostly on my own.”

   Maria stepped to the foot of the bed and said, “I know all of you are friends and Debra has been worried about your safety, all of you, but Doctor Horne was clear that Debra needs rest to recuperate.”

   Everyone began saying their goodbyes and then drifting outside to wait for Banner to drive them to their quarters. Stacey hugged Debra and then kissed my cheek as she said, “I’m so happy for you.”

   Danni was the last, but Debra tried to be obstinate, “No, Danni, I want you to stay here for a while, okay?”

   “Not going to happen, Debbie, you two haven’t seen each other in weeks and I am not going to interfere with your quality time.”

   “Danni,” I said. “That quality time is waiting until Doc Horne says go for it. We both want you to stay.” I glanced around and added, “You can have the bedroom, it looks like Debra will be sleeping in here for a while and I’m going to use the Marlow chair, so I can be close in case she needs something.”

   She hesitated a moment and I could see she was really thinking about it, finally she nodded, “I guess I…I don’t…I’m not ready to go home yet, I mean…all his stuff, our stuff…” She began to cry.

   Debra reached up and pulled Danni down and into an embrace. I walked around the bed and simply rested my hands on her back and shoulder. As she cried, Maria walked back in and stopped as she watched for a moment, and then walked to me and softly said. “Let me speak with you a moment and then I will leave you to your friend’s grief.”

   I followed her outside and she reached into the pocket of her apron to withdraw a small brown bottle, “This is Debra’s pain medication. The doctor says she should not have more than three in a twenty-four-hour period; it is very strong because of her knee injury. Have you ever changed an IV bag before?” I shook my head. “When it gets low, almost empty, call me and I will come change it; night or day, call me.” I nodded again. “Your friend, Danni, she needs to grieve, let her. Just love her and be there for her.”

   “Thank you, Maria, thank you for all your help.”

   She started to walk away, but stopped, “Oh, I asked Debra what she wanted to eat; she had a craving for burritos, so I made some for her and they are in the refrigerator. They are all marked what they are. There is a big jar of my salsa also, but don’t let her overeat, Doctor Horne says it may not be good for her to eat a large meal, only a third of a burrito at a time with at least one hour between meals.”

   “How long did she go with without food?”

   “Nine days and she was forced to drink unpurified water. If she starts vomiting, or has diarrhea, take her to Doctor Horne immediately.”

   “I will, Maria, again, thank you so much.” She left and I walked back inside to find Danni sitting up beside Debra on the bed.

   “Danni? Why don’t you take the cart and go get a change of clothes? When you come back, you can shower, get comfortable, and maybe catch a little sleep; last night wasn’t exactly restful. I was there, remember?”

   She nodded and stood up as Debra said, “When you get back, we’ll compare notes and tell our stories, okay?”

   She nodded again and said, “Yeah, we’ll tell our stories, I think yours will be much better than mine.” She walked to the open front door and asked, “Want me to close it?”

   “Please,” I answered. She left and I took Debra’s hand, “You okay for a few minutes? I want to change the linens on the bed and take a shower, I haven’t had one in well over a week.”

   She smiled at me and said, “I know, and unlike your claim I never need one, you do.”

   “Ouch, okay, but if you can get past my stink and your lips aren’t hurting, can I cheat you out of good kiss first?”

   “You never need to cheat me out of kiss.” She reached up and entangled the fingers protruding from the cast on her hand in my hair and pulled me down, even though she grimaced when she did it. Her lips weren’t her normal soft and resilient, but she kissed me with her entire being. As I started to rise back up, she held me and said, “Honey, it’s been a long time and I really need some of your special attention, make that shower quick, okay?”

   “Babe, you’re all strung up, how am I supposed to…”

   “I’ll figure it out, you just have to hurry.”

   I did, and she did. That woman is so imaginative and talented. Afterwards, she gave me a contented smile and said, “Honey? That comment you made, about me being all strung up?”

   I smiled and said, “Yeah, so much for my limited knowledge base.”

   She gave her sultry chuckle before saying, “Have you ever thought about, uh, maybe…”

   “What?”

   “Well, I know you are kind of, you know…”

   I laughed and said, “Sexually repressed?”

   She laughed and answered, “No! I would never say that to you, it’s just…well… yeah.”

   “Oh… I try, Babe, but you know a lot more than me, and I told you if you wanted me to do something special, I was always open to whatever you want.”

   “I know you said that, but that doesn’t mean you mean that.” She was starting to look nervous.

   “Come on, Babe, spit it out.”

   “You know how I told you that the things I was forced to do, still made me have…”

   I cut her off because thinking of her being forced to do anything upset me, “Yes, I know, but I’ve told you before, that wasn’t something bad on you, it was evil what they did to you.”

   I could see her withdrawing as she said, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

   “Don’t do that, Debra, it’s not you, never think that. I just get pissed thinking about the ways they forced you to do the things you had to do.”

   “That’s the thing, Daniel, it wasn’t what they made me do, it was the fact I didn’t want to do those things with the people they wanted me to do it with.”

   I hesitated and finally said, “Uh, Debra, I don’t understand.” She looked away and I continued, “Tell me, Babe, I’m listening; I’ll always listen.”

   “This time we’ve been apart, I was scared I would never see you again. I really thought that eventually, they were going to kill me, or capture me. I wasn’t going to let them capture me Daniel, no matter what. No other man, but you, will ever touch me again.”

   “Debra, don’t say that, I will always come for you, no matter what. And no matter what, I will always want you back by my side. No matter what, period.”

   “You mean that and I know it.” She glanced away and then met my eyes again as she rushed on, “I hated the people I had to have sex with, but not the sex. If it would have been you, doing those things to me, watching me while I did things, I would have done them gladly, for you. Daniel, I will do anything for you, anything. Just, no other men.”

   “Geez, Debra, don’t put that on me. Don’t give me permission to do things to you, don’t give away your power to me.”

   “Why not? I want you to have that power, Daniel. All I want is for you to accept the ownership I want to give you.”

   I shook my head, “No, Debra, I already have fantasies about you doing things for me, things like you described, you opened a door when you told me and I keep catching myself peeking in and wondering.”

   She had a surprised expression on her face and said, “Really? You have fantasies about me?”

   “Oh, for god’s sake, Debra, how could I not? First off, I may be sexually repressed, but I’m still a guy, I can’t help where my mind goes even when I try!”

   She gave me that sultry chuckle again, “Well, well, well, okay. That comment about me being all strung up? I’m thinking maybe that’s not such a bad idea. Maybe when the cast is off my wrist and the brace is off my leg?”

   I leaned down and kissed her, then I whispered into her parted lips, “Deal.” I straightened up and asked, “Are you hungry? Maria says you’re supposed to eat a lot of small meals; you want something?”

   “Oh, no, we don’t have the conversation we just had and you walk away to reheat a burrito. Get back down here and…” Someone was knocking at the front door. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

   “It might be Danni?”

   “Oh, yeah. If it is, let her in; anyone else? Tell them to fuck off!”

   I started towards the door as I said, “I love it when you give me orders.”

   “Nope, you will be giving the orders and I’m the one who is going to happily comply.”

   When I opened the door, it was Danni and she had a frightened little girl look about her, “Daniel, I can’t, I can’t go in our apartment…I just can’t.” She broke down and started to sob.

   From behind me, Debra said, “Bring her in, Daniel, we’ll make different arrangements.”

   I stepped aside and then put my arm around her as I led her to the couch and she started to sit, but then stood back up. “No, I’ll go to the women’s bay. Yeah, I’ll go there, you two need to be alone with each other and…”

   “No,” I cut her off. “You came here because you feel at home and safe here, and you are.” Her hands were empty and I realized she hadn’t brought anything to change into after she cleaned up. “I’ll get you a towel and wash cloth, so you can shower and then,” I looked at Debra as I said, “I’m sure we can come up with something for you to wear until we get your things, okay?” Debra nodded and gave me a thumbs up.

   “I don’t want to be a problem.”

   “You are not a problem, you’re family,” I said.

   “Danni,” Debra said. “Don’t make me get up and paddle your ass, just let us do for you, okay?”

   Danni looked up and gave Debra a raised eyebrow, “Oh yeah?” Then a slight smile, “You couldn’t paddle my ass on your best day.”

   “Probably not,” Debra quipped back at her, “But I bet I could make you suffer a little before you finished paddling mine.”

   I realized this was some sort of verbal fencing they must have exchanged before, and by the way it seemed to roll out, many times before; they were playing with each other. I gently pushed Danni back down on the couch and pulled one of her feet forward and began to untie her laces. She quickly jerked the foot back and asked, “What are you doing?”

   “I was going to take your boots off and…”

   “Oh, hell no!” Debra said. “Not in here you’re not! I have to sleep here and I can’t escape.”

   “Fuck you, Debbie,” There was actually some humor in Danni’s voice. “You witch.”

   “You bitch.”

   “You slut.”

   “You whore.”

   I stood up and walked away while shaking my head. In the bedroom I started going through Debra’s drawers looking for a pair of sweats and a tee-shirt that would fit Danni, when Debra shouted out, “Daniel! Get Danni a pair of your sweats; if you give her some of mine, she’ll look like a ten-dollar street whore wearing undersized yoga pants!”

   I heard a gasp and then Danni said, ‘Oh, yeah? Are you familiar with term two-bit-whore?”

   They kept going and finally they burst out laughing and then Debra started squealing and begging for Danni to stop. I quickly stepped into the hall with my sweats and tee-shirt and saw Danni dragging her fingernails lightly across the sole of Debra’s foot suspended in the air. “Daniel! Make her stop! Make her stop!” Then she burst out in giggles.

   “Nope,” I said. “I am not getting involved with this.”

   Danni finally stopped and pressed Debra’s foot between her breasts as she said, “I’m sorry, but it was such an inviting target. Is your knee okay?”

   Debra laughed and said, “Not really, but it was worth it. We haven’t done that in a long time.” Then she stretched out her arms and beckoned Danni into her embrace. Danni stepped in and leaned over as Debra said, “I love you, Danni.”

   “I love you too.” After standing back up, she walked to me and said, “Are those for me?”

   “Yeah, but I didn’t know if you needed any, uh, underwear?”

   “Naw, when I’m not in the field, I sleep commando.”

   Debra laughed and said, “TMI, Danni. You’ll have Daniel all red in the face if you keep that up.”

   Danni laughed too and said, “Yeah, Dan and I used to get a real kick out of Daniel getting embarrassed over that kind of stuff. Okay, it’s the showers for me.”

   She started into the bathroom as I said, “Fresh bars of soap in the vanity.”

   She said, “Thank you,” as she closed the door.

    “Debra, I’m going to get a portion of burrito and reheat it for you, do you want…”

   “Shhh!” She held up the palm of her hand and then placed her index finger over her lips; I could tell she was listening intently.

   I heard the water turn on in the shower, and said, “Debra?”

   “Shhh!”

   I walked to the bed and stood quietly as I tried to figure out what she was doing. Then, there was slight change of sound from the shower. Debra reached and grabbed me, and with a certain amount of urgency in her voice. “Screw that damn burrito, all that talk about stringing me up has got me all hot again.” She pulled me down on top of her, kissed me frantically, and when we broke the kiss, she said, “Do me again, Honey, do me again!”